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Old 07-31-2018, 07:14 AM
DWF50 DWF50 is offline
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Default Possible Poly Book

Hello everyone. A friend and I are currently writing a book (trying to get a publishing deal) about polyamory. Called Move Over Monogamy, it's an exploration of polyamory through the ages, together with interviews with people engaged in polyamorous relationships, together with psychological insights and tips in how to successfully navigate polyamorous relationships. I have two questions at this point . . . is this something people here would be interested in reading and, also is this something people here would be interested in talking about in the book. All answers gratefully received. Thank you.
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Old 07-31-2018, 03:12 PM
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I love the idea of "an exploration of polyamory through the ages" ... if indeed it can be shown that polyamory has been around for ages. Has it? The word, polyamory, has only been around for a few decades. But that doesn't mean that folks weren't doing the thing, sans the label, for a long time prior. But, to my knowledge, no one has ever shown (as an historian would show) that there is a truly long history of relationship practice which qualifies as polyamorous. If you were to accomplish this you'd probably have a best seller.
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Old 07-31-2018, 06:17 PM
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PS -

There are very many unique and different forms of non-monogamy. Each has their familiar name these days. But those names were not necessarily used in the long ago. Nevertheless, the forms can be the same even if the name we generally apply today differs from the name it took in the long ago (if, indeed, it had one). Some animal species have had different names in different places and times, for example. But it is the same animal, regardless. It's important, when writing a history of polyamory, to keep this in mind.

Polygamy and Polyandry are forms of non-monogamy, for example, which may or may not also be forms of polyamory. (Only rarely, I'd suggest, has historical polygamy been identical with polyamory (as that term is generally defined today). See this for help on that distinction.: http://lovingwithoutboundaries.com/2...clear-this-up/

One crucial component of polyamory, per se, is that it in no way is defined by marriage or its absense. It is what it is, regardless of the presence or absense of marriage. All of the various -gamys are, by definition, about marriage.

To find historical examples of polyamory prior to the relatively recent coinage of that word will require firstly that one can draw a circular line with an inside and an outside, with the crucial and definitive components inside that line. This is largely a task for anthropology (and maybe sociology) -- but also of history. It may be useful to consult with some experts in these fields.
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Last edited by River; 07-31-2018 at 07:02 PM.
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Old 07-31-2018, 09:12 PM
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Hello DWF50,

I would be interested in reading your book. I would also be willing to answer any questions you may have for me. Could be done right here on this thread, if that would work for you. I am in an MFM V, and as such I consider myself to be polyamorous.

Regards,
Kevin T.
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Old 08-01-2018, 06:18 AM
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Hi there, thank you for your comments, would definitely be up for talking more, via this thread works for me, will be posting a link for the book soon. It's via a crowdfunding literary agency, so the more pre-orders we get the more likely it is to get published.
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Old 08-01-2018, 06:19 AM
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Hi River

Thank you for all your comments and info. All gratefully received.
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Old 08-01-2018, 11:35 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Polyamory hasnít existed throughout the ages. Non-monogamy definitely has been around in various forms for millennia. But polyamory specifically is a relatively new historical development, only a few decades old.

Maybe skip the history part and focus on other aspects?
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Old 08-01-2018, 06:37 PM
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What do you mean by "polyamory" through the ages? The word means "with the knowledge and consent of everyone affected," which, among other things, implies equality between the sexes (since in a serious power imbalance, free agreement is not really a thing). The framework for poly wasn't even in existence, really, until fairly modern times.

Either narrow your subject down to what the word means, or call it by a broader category, like open relationships. Like maybe, "Multi-Love Through the Ages: Open Relationships from Ancient Times to Dan Savage".
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Old 08-01-2018, 06:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
Polyamory hasnít existed throughout the ages. Non-monogamy definitely has been around in various forms for millennia. But polyamory specifically is a relatively new historical development, only a few decades old.
This is what I was suspecting, but I could not be certain, as I certainly don't have a thoroughgoing knowledge of all world histories and cultures.

I would consider it quite possible that there may have been essentially polyamorous types of relationship in other times, prior to these last few decades. Most of what is called "history" is the history of so-called Western civilization. That history doesn't include the many other cultures which were not Western civilization. And so on....

Because what we call polyamory is so deeply rooted in, and dependent upon, an ethos of equality between the persons (regardless of gender) involved, it would not likely have come into being in a patriarchal (or even matriarchal) culture, but would more likely have arisen where power and responsibility is basically equally distributed.

Defined as such, since even modern America remains a largely patriarchal culture (for example), polyamory is more likely to emerge in/as a sub-culture than within the mainstream. But it could help shift the mainstream, too. And I think it is beginning to do just that.

Polyamory as we know it seems to have arisen out of a cultural milieu which draws a lot of influence and inspiration from the women's movement and feminism -- as well as other liberatory movements which flourished in the period from about 1955-1975. This would, of course, also include the African American Civil Rights Movement, the LGBT movement/s, "the Hippies", 60's counterculture....
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Old 08-01-2018, 07:01 PM
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PS -

I consider it quite possible that there has been polyamorous practice in earlier times than is generally recognized -- though not by that specific name. But not as part of a sub-cultural movement, as we now know it. That is, it is possible that it lived in a barely known, almost entirely invisible underground, similar to how "gay" men and "lesbian" women would manage to form deep and lasting bonds prior to "gay liberation". What we see now is a visible sub-culture which was able to become visible because of various liberatory movements which I have listed in my previous post.
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