A word with the Dad.

This suggestion is one of the best yet and since reading it I have spoken with the wife and girlfriend. We've decided we're all going to sit down together when he arrives, she'll say her thing and then if he has any questions for the rest of us we'll all talk it over with him together. I hadn't really even wondered why I was going to be the one doing the talking so kudos to you for the suggestion and thank you.

I appreciate you all taking your time to put in your two cents. Thank you for the valuable input.

Rainking-that is AWESOME!!

I think that's a GREAT plan.

I'm interested to know how you feel about how it goes-once it goes.

:)

I think it's awesome too that you stuck through with this thread, explaining, answering, considering and pondering with all of us until you found an answer that really seemed to fit for you!
It helps ALL of us see options and how many different ways different people would solve an issue-which helps all of us in our relationships too!

THANK YOU!
 
We've decided we're all going to sit down together when he arrives, she'll say her thing and then if he has any questions for the rest of us we'll all talk it over with him together.

I'm all for open communication and having all parties present for the asking of questions... I just wonder if he might feel overwhelmed with all of you there?

This kind of "coming out of the closet" is not unlike telling your parents you're gay, and my gut says he deserves a little privacy for his reaction to that news.

Also, it may upset and even anger him. You and your wife may not want to be present to act as targets for that anger.

I would feel less "confronted" if my daughter broke this kind of news to me one-on-one, say they went out for coffee first, and then brought him back to ask any questions.

That's just the way I would do it, but everyone knows what works best for them, and the girlfriend is the only person here who knows her dad so if she thinks he can handle the news with everyone there, then that's cool too!
 
I'm with Schrod on this one. He may be a "cool" dad which may be why she suggested it, or maybe she just wanted you guys there as moral support. Definitely food for thought.
 
I'm with Schrod on this one. He may be a "cool" dad which may be why she suggested it, or maybe she just wanted you guys there as moral support. Definitely food for thought.

Well, and upon further reflection, there also is the possibility that instead of being intimidating, having faces to put on the concept might make it a little less scary and theoretical, and allow him to see that you're ordinary people with honest intentions, not some kind of Satan-worshiping-sex-cult or something.
 
Well, and upon further reflection, there also is the possibility that instead of being intimidating, having faces to put on the concept might make it a little less scary and theoretical, and allow him to see that you're ordinary people with honest intentions, not some kind of Satan-worshiping-sex-cult or something.

Very true. I know a lot of people who weren't too sure about our relationship before they met us. Soon as they saw the 3 of us in action they realized that we are really just another triad. Well, you know what I mean. ;)

None of us here know him as well as his daughter and if she feels that the best option is for you all to be there then that's what you should do. One thing that life has taught me is that you never know. :)
 
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