New here. Frustrated single guy--how does anyone find a date anyway?

Now (read in your best Jewish mom voice) why aren't you dating your friends? Too many lesbian peeps? Too monogamous? All of your friends can't be lesbian monogamists! Go ask your lesbian peeps where their hot bro friends are. No sizzle with friends? Happens - I personally think the friend zone is a fine place to be. But getting to know someone deeply can move the sizzle needle. Almost all of my lovers or partners were friends first.

It's funny, because I have plenty of gay/bisexual guy friends, but none of them live in New Hampshire. It's inexplicable. I tend to get crushes on my straight guy friends, which is a problem itself. I've had crushes on a maybe a few girls over the years too, but never enough to want to initiate something more than friendship with them.

I'll definitely have to take you up on that longitudinal study :)
 
Oh, you can't drive? Kinda kills the spontaneity even if you do find a person willing to date you who lives 12-15 miles away (your walking distance). Wanna go to a movie? Sure! See you in 3 hours!

How about a bicycle? You could then extend your non-carless distance to 25 miles! :rolleyes:

Nah. Get a license and a car. Be willing to drive 30+ miles. To do that, you will need a job for gas $ as well.

I just moved to a different town in Mass to move in with my gf (who doesnt have a car, but she lived in Boston with plenty of buses, subways and taxis). And now we live near my bf too, 7 miles from him. I used to drive 20 miles to be with my gf (did that for 4 years), and my bf used to drive 20 miles in another direction to be with me. He did that for 17 months.

Coincidentally, a young man (24) I've been flirting with off and on, online, for a few years, got back in touch, asking me to come visit him in Providence RI, 50 miles away. Wanting me to drive to see him because he doesn't have a car! I just moved to be with my gf, and a 15 minute backroads drive from my bf, and this guy wants me to drive 50 miles highway for the privilege of being with him? I think not.
 
SoNH here too (cripes, how many of us are from the same region here?!) - you're gonna be landlocked forever if you don't get yourself a car (or at the very least, a bike).

I'm not poly myself, so I don't have much in the way of Poly resources for you. My partner spends time between here and RI so he's meeting up with people in the MA area to find some sort of Poly community. There is a Boston Poly community that he and his OSO have found, so if you can get yourself to a train station, that may be viable.

I do like BG's suggestion of NHRD. My coworker skates with them (just went from the Seabrook Meltdowns to the Manchester Cherry Bombs, I think), and it seems like such a fun time. :)
 
Oh I definitely have a bike...I've biked for 10 hours to Massachusetts and back. It's just that I get exhausted when biking, especially with all the hills. It's not something I'd want to do all the time.
 
Update: I'm going out to lunch tomorrow with some 51-year-old guy from Louisiana. He's the first person to even message me in 6 months. I guess good things happen to those who complain? (Not that I can be sure this is a good thing...lol.) Weird timing.
 
My advice for your date, and whenever you do make plans to meet someone, is to just let having fun be your goal. Don't date people with the goal of "auditioning" them to see if they are potentially "relationship material" or going to have a bigger role in your life. Relax and date just to meet people and get to know them, to do enjoyable things, and for the fun of it. Enjoy another human being's company and don't take it too seriously.
 
Thanks for the suggestion...I've only been on one first date in my life, and it wasn't a very normal one, so I'm not sure exactly what to expect. But I mean, what's the worst that could happen, right?
 
Here's my number one dating advice: listen to your instincts. If your instincts are telling you something is off, something is not right, get out. Don't worry about hurting their feelings, making a bad impression - just leave. Don't eat, drink or take anything that compromises your thinking or judgment.

If you don't have good instincts - and too many people grew up in families where they were not safe and never learned what that feels like - then don't do anything impulsive. Wait. Go on another date (and drawing things out can be hot as hell which is a nice side benefit).

You are a dude and so probably feel that not much bad can happen to you on a date. But it is possible. I've known several bi/gay men assaulted by dates or acquaintance or partners. Listen to your instincts. I hope you have a fab time.
 
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