Evangeline
New member
Ugh. I'm going through a really awkward period and I don't have many poly-friendly friends to complain to.
Background on our polycule: I have two partners, Anna and Elliot. Both Elliot and Anna and I have another partner each, I am former partners with Anna's other partner, and Elliot and Anna are partners (so we're a group of six).
Elliot has a best friend, Mark, who is (was) also my good friend. Mark and I have been having a long-running flirting/overly-long hug thing going and I'm interested in Mark, so Elliot encouraged me to ask Mark out. Mark knows all our other partners and our relationship has been going on for 2+ years; not a secret.
Anyway, I asked Mark if he was interested in dating and he totally freaked out; said he couldn't believe I would do that to Elliot and "destroy" our friend group. Then he immediately contacted Elliot so he could tell him "what had happened."
This is so awkward. Elliot and Mark are still just as good friends. Elliot says he explained to Mark that "everything was cool," but Mark and I haven't mentioned the incident and it's been two weeks and we see each other every day. I'm really hurt and angry that Mark would think I would cheat on Elliot (or Anna!), and I'm really confused - did he somehow not notice that Elliot and I both have other partners?
I want to talk to Mark about it, but Elliot thinks it would just make things more awkward. I'm having trouble letting it go though… Is there any way I can redeem this friendship?
Background on our polycule: I have two partners, Anna and Elliot. Both Elliot and Anna and I have another partner each, I am former partners with Anna's other partner, and Elliot and Anna are partners (so we're a group of six).
Elliot has a best friend, Mark, who is (was) also my good friend. Mark and I have been having a long-running flirting/overly-long hug thing going and I'm interested in Mark, so Elliot encouraged me to ask Mark out. Mark knows all our other partners and our relationship has been going on for 2+ years; not a secret.
Anyway, I asked Mark if he was interested in dating and he totally freaked out; said he couldn't believe I would do that to Elliot and "destroy" our friend group. Then he immediately contacted Elliot so he could tell him "what had happened."
This is so awkward. Elliot and Mark are still just as good friends. Elliot says he explained to Mark that "everything was cool," but Mark and I haven't mentioned the incident and it's been two weeks and we see each other every day. I'm really hurt and angry that Mark would think I would cheat on Elliot (or Anna!), and I'm really confused - did he somehow not notice that Elliot and I both have other partners?
I want to talk to Mark about it, but Elliot thinks it would just make things more awkward. I'm having trouble letting it go though… Is there any way I can redeem this friendship?