ilovestrawberries
New member
Sorry for blowing up the board this morning, but it's really nice to talk to you guys about things.
I recently posted a thread about how my wife and I were poly all along and suddenly I feel like I might be mono, but she's poly. She and I are in the process of trying to work out an arrangement that feels good to both of us. I have anxiety and all of this is really putting a lot of stress on me.
We agreed to these things:
1. She will spend the night at her friend's house once a week and that'll be her night to date or whatever.
2. She won't talk about details with me.
3. I said I wanted to be mono with her.
After talking to all of you about things and seeing all the different kinds of arrangements, I wonder if maybe I'm poly after all? My whole thing is that I don't think I can love anyone else other than my wife. She's pretty awesome. My problem with her dating other people was the idea of her developing an emotional connection to someone other than me. It makes me feel insecure. She ended things with the person she was dating recently and I have to say, I'm very relieved.
However...I've been messaging a woman on OKC for a while now and we'd like to meet. She seems cool and we have a few things in common. Well, doesn't that mean I'm poly? If I do this, then how can I have a problem with my wife doing it too?
Argh! I'm so confused.
There has to be a way to do this so that she gets her needs met without fueling my anxiety and I can explore things too. We really love each other and want to make this work and part of me just thinks this is a big bumpy part of the road we're going through right now and it will smooth out at some point. Neither of us want to be apart.
Strawberries, 48, married to Peaches, 28
I recently posted a thread about how my wife and I were poly all along and suddenly I feel like I might be mono, but she's poly. She and I are in the process of trying to work out an arrangement that feels good to both of us. I have anxiety and all of this is really putting a lot of stress on me.
We agreed to these things:
1. She will spend the night at her friend's house once a week and that'll be her night to date or whatever.
2. She won't talk about details with me.
3. I said I wanted to be mono with her.
After talking to all of you about things and seeing all the different kinds of arrangements, I wonder if maybe I'm poly after all? My whole thing is that I don't think I can love anyone else other than my wife. She's pretty awesome. My problem with her dating other people was the idea of her developing an emotional connection to someone other than me. It makes me feel insecure. She ended things with the person she was dating recently and I have to say, I'm very relieved.
However...I've been messaging a woman on OKC for a while now and we'd like to meet. She seems cool and we have a few things in common. Well, doesn't that mean I'm poly? If I do this, then how can I have a problem with my wife doing it too?
Argh! I'm so confused.
There has to be a way to do this so that she gets her needs met without fueling my anxiety and I can explore things too. We really love each other and want to make this work and part of me just thinks this is a big bumpy part of the road we're going through right now and it will smooth out at some point. Neither of us want to be apart.
Strawberries, 48, married to Peaches, 28