Polycplcolo
New member
So me and my wife are new to the poly scene. We have been searching for the elusive unicorn to join us in our relationship. A few months ago we met a really awesome woman at a party we had. Things were getting a little hot and heavy that night but she got scared and went off to join others in the party without saying much. We were left feeling a little defeated and confused as we thought she was really into us.
An unfortunate even occurred and she ended up talking with one of our guy friends the next day and they ended up hooking up and are now dating.
They are both good friends of ours and join in all of the parties and social gatherings our group of friends have. We had a New Years eve party where a lot of things were clarified. It turns out she ran off the first time because she was afraid to ruin our marriage, and we were all really drunk so it was probably best. However after explaining to her how secure we are in our marriage and its what we want she actually had a lot of regret and wished things went differently.
She was having a argument that started with her and her boyfriend before they even got to the party that night, so there was hardly any attention being put forth between each other. My wife and her actually ended up making out again and very flirtatious with each other. I kept my distance since she is obviously with another man.
My wife had recently had lunch with her to plan her boyfriends bday party. She spent part of the lunch complaining to my wife about him and a lot of the things hes been doing or saying. She isn't completely happy with him and he has been a dick to her lately. But obviously we don't see everything being the scenes so there might be chemistry we aren't seeing despite her complaints.
Fast forward to this past weekend where it was her boyfriends bday party. Both me and my wife like this girl a lot but have limited expectations. We went to the party not expecting anything. At most her and my wife would flirt and have fun because both sides are completely cool with that, just not me and her doing anything. However things started off strangely. As the girl we like initiated a lot of flirting with me early in the night before she even had any alcohol. Her boyfriend hardly pays any attention to her during these get togethers with our friends. As the night progressed things got even more intense. Without going into every little detail there was a lot of fondling and we ended up kissing. Every time we are around her there is more attention being put on us than him.
She has told us a few times if things ever change she will let us know. But we are confused as to what to do. We like this girl a great deal and want to bring her into our relationship but her boyfriend is also one of our good friends. We don't want to drive a wedge into their relationship but at the same time we feel we can offer so much more than he can. He's a really cool and fun guy but not the best boyfriend. And we are into couples but my wife isn't attracted to him.
This is the first girl me and my wife have both had something more than a physical connection with which makes it hard for us. It's kind of like that broken heart feeling of not getting what you want or can't have.
So I guess the advice we are seeking is what is the best way to have her choose us over him without ruining friendships or being the main source of their breakup? If she is really having issues with him why isn't she breaking up with him? It seems despite her grievances she has some sort of connection with him that is keeping her holding on.
Sorry for the long post, any thoughts?
An unfortunate even occurred and she ended up talking with one of our guy friends the next day and they ended up hooking up and are now dating.
They are both good friends of ours and join in all of the parties and social gatherings our group of friends have. We had a New Years eve party where a lot of things were clarified. It turns out she ran off the first time because she was afraid to ruin our marriage, and we were all really drunk so it was probably best. However after explaining to her how secure we are in our marriage and its what we want she actually had a lot of regret and wished things went differently.
She was having a argument that started with her and her boyfriend before they even got to the party that night, so there was hardly any attention being put forth between each other. My wife and her actually ended up making out again and very flirtatious with each other. I kept my distance since she is obviously with another man.
My wife had recently had lunch with her to plan her boyfriends bday party. She spent part of the lunch complaining to my wife about him and a lot of the things hes been doing or saying. She isn't completely happy with him and he has been a dick to her lately. But obviously we don't see everything being the scenes so there might be chemistry we aren't seeing despite her complaints.
Fast forward to this past weekend where it was her boyfriends bday party. Both me and my wife like this girl a lot but have limited expectations. We went to the party not expecting anything. At most her and my wife would flirt and have fun because both sides are completely cool with that, just not me and her doing anything. However things started off strangely. As the girl we like initiated a lot of flirting with me early in the night before she even had any alcohol. Her boyfriend hardly pays any attention to her during these get togethers with our friends. As the night progressed things got even more intense. Without going into every little detail there was a lot of fondling and we ended up kissing. Every time we are around her there is more attention being put on us than him.
She has told us a few times if things ever change she will let us know. But we are confused as to what to do. We like this girl a great deal and want to bring her into our relationship but her boyfriend is also one of our good friends. We don't want to drive a wedge into their relationship but at the same time we feel we can offer so much more than he can. He's a really cool and fun guy but not the best boyfriend. And we are into couples but my wife isn't attracted to him.
This is the first girl me and my wife have both had something more than a physical connection with which makes it hard for us. It's kind of like that broken heart feeling of not getting what you want or can't have.
So I guess the advice we are seeking is what is the best way to have her choose us over him without ruining friendships or being the main source of their breakup? If she is really having issues with him why isn't she breaking up with him? It seems despite her grievances she has some sort of connection with him that is keeping her holding on.
Sorry for the long post, any thoughts?