PolyNatural
Banned
This discussion is closely related to the Definitions of Polyamory discussion, but also different enough that I felt it deserved its own thread. More specifically, I've recently decided to drop the poly label for myself.
This has come about because there are so many views about what being poly is or what it should mean, or what rules should apply to who. And when those positions are questioned because they don't seem coherent or in keeping with the history, those concerns are simply hand-waved as if they're irrelevant.
Consequently polyamory has become a convenience label to justify whatever sort of behavior suits the people who apply it to themselves rather than a set of well defined and well substantiated principles that the poly community ( if there is such a thing ) on the whole agrees on.
So personally, I've gone back to simply being undefined and I'll probably integrate the PolyNatural site into something larger that covers a variety of relationship types. This has the added benefit of not having less well informed people who assume they know what being poly is about for everyone else map their assumptions onto me.
The downside is that people like to know what sort of relationship someone is after when they're becoming involved with them, and now I'm back to explaining that I either believe in "Alternate Relationships" or don't believe in typical relationships, or something else equally vague.
I'd like to see the poly community get its ducks in a row, but it seems like a dreamer's quest. I'd appreciate any feedback on this. The Poly label is the closest to the way I look at relationships, but some other versions of that same label are so completely off that being associated with it just puts me in the middle of too much controversy.
This has come about because there are so many views about what being poly is or what it should mean, or what rules should apply to who. And when those positions are questioned because they don't seem coherent or in keeping with the history, those concerns are simply hand-waved as if they're irrelevant.
Consequently polyamory has become a convenience label to justify whatever sort of behavior suits the people who apply it to themselves rather than a set of well defined and well substantiated principles that the poly community ( if there is such a thing ) on the whole agrees on.
So personally, I've gone back to simply being undefined and I'll probably integrate the PolyNatural site into something larger that covers a variety of relationship types. This has the added benefit of not having less well informed people who assume they know what being poly is about for everyone else map their assumptions onto me.
The downside is that people like to know what sort of relationship someone is after when they're becoming involved with them, and now I'm back to explaining that I either believe in "Alternate Relationships" or don't believe in typical relationships, or something else equally vague.
I'd like to see the poly community get its ducks in a row, but it seems like a dreamer's quest. I'd appreciate any feedback on this. The Poly label is the closest to the way I look at relationships, but some other versions of that same label are so completely off that being associated with it just puts me in the middle of too much controversy.