My husband and I are new to polyamory. We just started being open to new relationships and established what we want that to look like.
I had approached him with two long term friends that I was interested in exploring our friendship further. He initially was open and ok with both of them and knew I was going to move forward. When the one he was hoping would turn into something romantic (because the guy is long distance) turned out that the friendship is just too perfect as it is to move beyond, he seemed a bit disappointed. On the other side, when the friendship with the other guy started to blossom, he wanted to add a rule that would make this person someone that was "off limits" for anything more than a friendship.
This threw me off and upset me. I had not actively tried to engage in a relationship with this new guy but had just focused on trying to get to know him better and a relationship naturally formed. It is still not fully defined but before anything moved forward, I wanted to check back with my primary per our rules. Naturally, jealousy did form and was something we talked though, but it also has caused another issue.
I am really happy with the experience of this NRE and wish to see where things move from here but my primary has now taken a stance back. He has started putting more restrictions on the relationship than what was originally discussed between us before we started opening up to new relationships. We did sit down and discuss this more and I did all I could to validate and work through his jealousy, but I am still feeling torn. I feel like the rug was ripped out from under me in a way but thankful too that he is open to allowing me to work on this new relationship. This also blind sided my new relationship as we were open about what my husband and I had talked about and was discussed ahead of time. I am thankful and lucky that he is very understanding and knows that we were monogamous before this and still "learning the ropes" per se.
I am looking for advice on how to nurture these relationships and...I guess how to feel better about how this all happened. Both relationships are very important to me and make me extremely happy. I value both of them.
I had approached him with two long term friends that I was interested in exploring our friendship further. He initially was open and ok with both of them and knew I was going to move forward. When the one he was hoping would turn into something romantic (because the guy is long distance) turned out that the friendship is just too perfect as it is to move beyond, he seemed a bit disappointed. On the other side, when the friendship with the other guy started to blossom, he wanted to add a rule that would make this person someone that was "off limits" for anything more than a friendship.
This threw me off and upset me. I had not actively tried to engage in a relationship with this new guy but had just focused on trying to get to know him better and a relationship naturally formed. It is still not fully defined but before anything moved forward, I wanted to check back with my primary per our rules. Naturally, jealousy did form and was something we talked though, but it also has caused another issue.
I am really happy with the experience of this NRE and wish to see where things move from here but my primary has now taken a stance back. He has started putting more restrictions on the relationship than what was originally discussed between us before we started opening up to new relationships. We did sit down and discuss this more and I did all I could to validate and work through his jealousy, but I am still feeling torn. I feel like the rug was ripped out from under me in a way but thankful too that he is open to allowing me to work on this new relationship. This also blind sided my new relationship as we were open about what my husband and I had talked about and was discussed ahead of time. I am thankful and lucky that he is very understanding and knows that we were monogamous before this and still "learning the ropes" per se.
I am looking for advice on how to nurture these relationships and...I guess how to feel better about how this all happened. Both relationships are very important to me and make me extremely happy. I value both of them.