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Old 02-13-2014, 03:38 PM
Autumnphoenix Autumnphoenix is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1
Default To woo or not to woo

Hello everyone. This is my 1st post usually I prefer to keep my own council but I need some outside perspective in this situation.

I am currently involved in a mff V relationship. He and I have been together for 9yr. She has been my best friend 10. I have been in love with her for 5 of those. She moved closer to us and they hit it off as I always hoped (suspected) they would. Her previous poly relationship ended horribly, she felt like a sister to the other female in that one and still feels pain over the dissolution of the intimate relationship, even more so the friendship.This seems to have inhibited her desire of physical interest towards all females. All of which I totally understand.
Subsequently her fear of our close friendship self destructing after crossing that plane has effectively put me in the more than friend but less than lover zone right now. I all my previous relationships I have written my loves poetry, picked or bought them flowers, made special meals, little things like that when the spirit moves me. I want to do these things so badly but not at the risk of making her feel pressured to respond in kind or do something just because she thinks it is expected or what i want. (she identifies as a submissive/babygirl in kink circles)
With Valentines day looming this question is plaguing me day and night since 1/2 of me wants to express my love for her as an intimate and the other 1/2 wants to be the friend that does what ever is in her best interest.
any help with perspective is greatly appreciated.
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Old 02-13-2014, 04:09 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

All you can really do is let her know your interest.

In the end she has to begin to trust in the situation and in you. She has to be the one to take the plunge.

You can't do much more than what you already have. That said though a friendly sweet trinket isn't out of the ordinary in my group of friends. So you can express a bit (fullfilling your need) and not make it overhwhelming (fullfilling her need)..
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