I have been married for 10 Years to Australia and not actively dating anyone.
We have been open off and on for going on four years. This has been more off than on. We are fully committed to living an honest and open life now. My wife is far more successful at this time than I am. This is largely due to her being more social, and my working odd hours and plenty of them. While this caused me some resentment early on, I have learned to be happy for her during this time when things are in her favor, understanding that this will not always be the case as our careers change and grow.
My problem is that I am having a hard time reconciling her new relationships with our relationship. She has enjoyed a handful of relationships ranging from an evening to a couple of months.
The problem I am having is that things between us, and the parts of my relationship that I used to take pride in, are now starting to seem less and less important as I become one in an increasing number of lovers. While I can usually rationalize these insecurities during the day; I have evenings like tonight when I am overwhelmed by these feelings. It seems like every time she shares an experience, be it romantic or sexual, with someone else I feel like any memory of similar experiences between us has been diminished.
I do feel secure in my relationship, but it can be easy to get overwhelmed in the feelings of my smaller self sometimes. Compersion is easy when we are on a double date, but much harder when I find that she has partaken in an activity that had been exclusive to our marriage beforehand. What is some advice, or insight that you can provide to help me in these times? I know I'm not being rational, but a different perspective may help me.
We have been open off and on for going on four years. This has been more off than on. We are fully committed to living an honest and open life now. My wife is far more successful at this time than I am. This is largely due to her being more social, and my working odd hours and plenty of them. While this caused me some resentment early on, I have learned to be happy for her during this time when things are in her favor, understanding that this will not always be the case as our careers change and grow.
My problem is that I am having a hard time reconciling her new relationships with our relationship. She has enjoyed a handful of relationships ranging from an evening to a couple of months.
The problem I am having is that things between us, and the parts of my relationship that I used to take pride in, are now starting to seem less and less important as I become one in an increasing number of lovers. While I can usually rationalize these insecurities during the day; I have evenings like tonight when I am overwhelmed by these feelings. It seems like every time she shares an experience, be it romantic or sexual, with someone else I feel like any memory of similar experiences between us has been diminished.
I do feel secure in my relationship, but it can be easy to get overwhelmed in the feelings of my smaller self sometimes. Compersion is easy when we are on a double date, but much harder when I find that she has partaken in an activity that had been exclusive to our marriage beforehand. What is some advice, or insight that you can provide to help me in these times? I know I'm not being rational, but a different perspective may help me.