With Hubby, he said "I love you" first. It was his birthday gift to me on the first birthday I had after he and I started seeing each other.
With Guy, I said it first, both to let him know that I had feelings for him, and to let him know that Hubby had given his agreement to me having those feelings--and having a full-fledged relationship with Guy.
With S2, I said it first after waiting for him to say it first because I knew he wasn't quite sure where he was emotionally or what he was ready for relationship-wise. I knew I *felt* it and was reasonably sure he did, but I didn't want to be the first one to *say* it. I stopped waiting the day he told me he was afraid he'd contracted an STI from a woman he'd hooked up with a week or so earlier. (He hadn't; it was a guilt reaction because he felt like he'd cheated on me by seeing her, and because he knew he'd been an idiot by having unprotected sex with her.) He was so afraid I was going to break up with him that he was practically in tears when he told me; he said he couldn't deal with the thought of losing me because I meant so much to him already, after only a few months. So I told him I couldn't turn my back on him despite the circumstances because I loved him.
I haven't said it to anyone else other than my kids' father, and I'm not going to count him. Plus that was so long ago and I've managed to block out so much of that relationship that I can't even remember who said it first.
With Guy, I said it first, both to let him know that I had feelings for him, and to let him know that Hubby had given his agreement to me having those feelings--and having a full-fledged relationship with Guy.
With S2, I said it first after waiting for him to say it first because I knew he wasn't quite sure where he was emotionally or what he was ready for relationship-wise. I knew I *felt* it and was reasonably sure he did, but I didn't want to be the first one to *say* it. I stopped waiting the day he told me he was afraid he'd contracted an STI from a woman he'd hooked up with a week or so earlier. (He hadn't; it was a guilt reaction because he felt like he'd cheated on me by seeing her, and because he knew he'd been an idiot by having unprotected sex with her.) He was so afraid I was going to break up with him that he was practically in tears when he told me; he said he couldn't deal with the thought of losing me because I meant so much to him already, after only a few months. So I told him I couldn't turn my back on him despite the circumstances because I loved him.
I haven't said it to anyone else other than my kids' father, and I'm not going to count him. Plus that was so long ago and I've managed to block out so much of that relationship that I can't even remember who said it first.