Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 04-19-2018, 08:53 PM
DonnieLD DonnieLD is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Pretty much everywhere, currently bouncing around CDT USA
Posts: 24
Default

I think I could understand that. I think I would be fine managing multiple relationships, and sharing, but I see a family as cohesive and anyone who came into our's as an integral member would have to be someone she cared for more than myself. My wife is very selective, partially from her past and I don't see it changing but with knowing how accepting I can be, I trust her judgement and only want the happiest life for her, whether that is just the two of us, or if she comes to love another as well.
--D
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-23-2018, 10:54 PM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: East Coast, U.S.
Posts: 469
Default

DonnieLD,

You mentioned having figured out that you're bisexual. Do you have any desire to explore dating other men yourself?

Do you imagine that you might become romantically or sexually involved with her wife's (potential) "second husband"? I ask because sometimes people who are new to poly have unrealistic expectations about forming a triad (where all 3 people are romantically involved with each other).

This idea seems especially common when someone coming from a monogamous, heterosexual marriage wants to explore their bisexuality, but aren't totally comfortable with this aspect of their sexuality, and are hoping to explore it with someone they "share" with their spouse.
__________________
Single, straight, female, solo, non-monogamous.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-23-2018, 11:41 PM
DonnieLD DonnieLD is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Pretty much everywhere, currently bouncing around CDT USA
Posts: 24
Default

MeeraReed,

I've known for a while I was bi, never really had any call to explore though as my partners have both been women and while I'm open to the possibility of additional loves in one's life I refuse to "stray" if it would mean breaking my partners heart. I can deal with wanting or having a desire to date or have relationships with other women or men and not take that path if it would mean my wife being hurt in the process. As for me wanting a romantic relationship with someone she finds, if she would. I will say that it would be foolish of me to say I wouldn't want that, however, I do not believe that that is the only possibility, or even an extremely likely one. My goal is to ensure her happiness and a fulfilled life, if it would mean that I would have to share her love while she loves both me and her second then so be it.

Ultimately I tend to go through life thinking a great many things. Some would be that perfect scenario where everything we hope and dream for falls into place. My experience has taught me that many things in life are just the opposite.

Personally I would be happy in many of the scenarios that play through my mind, ideal or not, and as I said before, I only hope I can make her life a happy and fulfilled one. If that means it would be only her and I for eternity, or if that means she finds a second husband with whom she can complete her picture of life, then no matter what, so be it

Hope that answers your questions a bit.
--D
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
conundrum, introduction, reach out, sounding board, support

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:38 AM.