Finding like-minded people re: poly arrangements
Hey guys!
Been reading silently for a while, and am seeing patterns in how various people approach and express polyamory.
From what I have read it seems, to me, many of you have specific kinds (or styles) of poly you are engaged in currently: hierarchical or not, married or not, interested or not in casual encounters VS out there for deep intimacy, family-oriented (with/without kids) or even extended family, with your partners' partners with/without kids and the level of involvement of these kids in your particular lives, etc.
So, how did you personally find the people closest to you who matched your ability to live polyamorously?
For example did your relationships develop based on mutually-shared preferences for how you
want to live and experience polyamory? Did you look for people who matched your specific preferences in poly style?
Or were you rather flexible--are the current forms of your relationships resulting more from what works with whomever you have dated, meaning your life would have been very different based on who you'd have dated VS what it is now?
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I'd also like your opinions on how you came to find any like-minded people as far as your poly arrangements go.
Did you mostly frequent dating/social sites for that?
Has anyone just "met" people that were open to the idea, without it being on a dating or social site specifically for that purpose?
For some reason, purpose-driven places turn me right off... I'm wondering if that's shooting me in the foot. I find myself uninterested in joining a poly community in person because I don't want to find myself involved in that many lives all of a sudden... over here the group seems close-knit, with everyone knowing a bunch about everyone else's partners. That's too much for me, I'm a hardcore introvert!
And yes I'm aware this post probably sounds clueless--but I have always been clueless at dating. 100% of my dates and boyfriends have been people I've met through chance, unintentionally through friends or family, or more rarely by engaging in activities I care about.
I have never had to go looking for a date, and never "put myself on the market" for one either.
I guess I wouldn't know where to get started, being who I am!
Thanks for reading