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Old 07-26-2020, 11:05 PM
FrouFrou FrouFrou is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2020
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Smile Long Term Love

I'm 41. I don't know if I define myself as polyamorous, but I have never jived with long term monogamy. Stretches of it are fine, but I feel most myself when I'm in two or more relationships simultaneously. I would never be able to live with myself if I cheated on a partner, and prefer for my partners to at least have access to each other, if not be friends independently of me. I feel like people who know each other can trust each other more fully; they can see what their 'competition' is, and realize that there IS no competition.

I am currently in two long term relationships. I just celebrated my eight year anniversary with my female partner Red. I am also in a domestic partnership with Verbs, the father of my child, and we have been together for seven years.

We are a drama free FFM vee, with me as the hinge. My partners are friends. We do not mix relationships, and while do I love threesomes, it's not something that we participate in.

Red has historically questionable ethics, and loves to push boundaries and behave recklessly from time to time. She is very beautiful, charismatic and creative. She is artistic and is very well educated. Red has other relationships from time to time - sometimes she chooses to be with monogamous men, and we have simply paused the physical aspect of our relationship (my choice, but those blips usually don't last long. The last two relationships she was in were contingent on us being partners as well, and her men embraced that aspect of her and met me in friendship. Good to see her moving towards honesty and integrity more. Red and I do not date other women as part of our relationship comfort structure; she gets jealous, and I see no reason to push her, or our relationship to explore other female connections.

Verbs is very stable, incredibly monogamous, very ethical and rooted in logic. He has a number of cerebral relationships with other women, and is friends with his exes in a comfortable way. He was in an FFM triad when he was younger, but it didn't last long; he prefers the simplicity of monogamy. Sometimes he toys with the idea of having a lover. We may explore that more over the long term.

They are both wildly intelligent, deep thinkers and our love and respect for each other is true and easy. I am definitely someone who is attracted to intelligence, and often find myself in deep, emotionally stimulating relationships with smart community builders and leaders. I fall in love easily and often, and have to reign in my natural desire to turn those flirtatious and mutually satsifying friendships into sexual connections. I am quite in love with four other people right now (one of whom I was with for some time previously and will likely never be out of love with), and I'm quite sure that it's mutual, but we leave it where it is because the complications would erode the nature of our connection, as they're monogamous and I have no time, energy or desire to pursue much else right now.

I don't know how much I have to offer this community, as really our life is not very exciting, just regular, plain old long-term non-monogamy. I suppose it just makes sense to share with likeminded people who don't approach relationships in a linear fashion. We have lots to learn from each other in life, and I overcame a lot of issues to be as peaceful as I am in my life.
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Old 07-29-2020, 01:40 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 18,705

Hello FrouFrou,

It sounds like you have a really nice V, thanks for sharing your story. When you post here on the blog board, usually others won't respond here, it'll just be you talking. If you have questions, or want feedback and advice, I recommend that you post in Poly Relationships Corner. And in general, I encourage you to explore our threads and boards, see what calls to you and post your thoughts. Welcome to our forum!

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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long term relationships, partnership, vee

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