BathedInSalt
New member
I'm afraid I'm going to ruin my marriage, even if that's not based in truth it's my fear.
I'm afraid that we won't end up being compatible b/c of this, like it's too big of a difference.
I have no intention of leaving my husband, but I do wonder/worry if I will end up having to practice a mono life with him in order to stay in life with him and if that will cause me to act out or be depressed.
Knowing how much this has already affected me would help and I'm trying to assess that now. I think I've always been poly, that's what I assessed from reflecting on my relationship patterns, desires (acted out or not), and fantasies. I know that I no longer have to feel bad or guilty about feelings I have. I trust they come from a good place and not a place meant to harm anyone. I feel like I can breathe easier in a sense. I know that in the past having feelings that didn't match up with a mono lifestyle made me feel like a shitty human being. I read somewhere the term poly-in-theory and that's what it feels like my husband is. He gets it intellectually, but I don't know that he'll ever let me practice it. That's a fear.
I do have a current interest. The serious feelings I have for him is what sparked this self reflection anyways. I understand this complicates things. It's my situation though. I haven't talked to my interest about me being poly yet. He knows I'm married, we know we dig each other a lot, we know we like spending time together, that we feel better when we are around each other, all the good fun (NRE) stuff, and we have a no sex boundary (we came up with this boundary for different reasons). I'm afraid that I will breach the subject and he will not be down and we won't even get to be friends. I'm afraid that he will be down and then I'll be bothered (squirked? squinked?) when he has another partner. I really want to be so cool about sharing, but it's something I won't know until it happens and then I get to deal with it. I know I'm getting ahead of myself too.
It's all brand new, it's so much stuff and I just want to talk it all to death. Any takers?
I'm afraid that we won't end up being compatible b/c of this, like it's too big of a difference.
I have no intention of leaving my husband, but I do wonder/worry if I will end up having to practice a mono life with him in order to stay in life with him and if that will cause me to act out or be depressed.
Knowing how much this has already affected me would help and I'm trying to assess that now. I think I've always been poly, that's what I assessed from reflecting on my relationship patterns, desires (acted out or not), and fantasies. I know that I no longer have to feel bad or guilty about feelings I have. I trust they come from a good place and not a place meant to harm anyone. I feel like I can breathe easier in a sense. I know that in the past having feelings that didn't match up with a mono lifestyle made me feel like a shitty human being. I read somewhere the term poly-in-theory and that's what it feels like my husband is. He gets it intellectually, but I don't know that he'll ever let me practice it. That's a fear.
I do have a current interest. The serious feelings I have for him is what sparked this self reflection anyways. I understand this complicates things. It's my situation though. I haven't talked to my interest about me being poly yet. He knows I'm married, we know we dig each other a lot, we know we like spending time together, that we feel better when we are around each other, all the good fun (NRE) stuff, and we have a no sex boundary (we came up with this boundary for different reasons). I'm afraid that I will breach the subject and he will not be down and we won't even get to be friends. I'm afraid that he will be down and then I'll be bothered (squirked? squinked?) when he has another partner. I really want to be so cool about sharing, but it's something I won't know until it happens and then I get to deal with it. I know I'm getting ahead of myself too.
It's all brand new, it's so much stuff and I just want to talk it all to death. Any takers?