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I cannot believe that you are actually considering this. Everything I have read in any medium regarding male sexuality has stated that a mans primary need in any relationship style is SEX .
You need to read some better books/articles.
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I cannot believe that you are actually considering this. Everything I have read in any medium regarding male sexuality has stated that a mans primary need in any relationship style is SEX .
You need to read some better books/articles.
Funny, I’d be willing to bet you what Ive read has sold hundreds of thousands more copies that anything you have read or refer to.
Sorry I forgot those of you that get offended by anyone challenging your poly bubble society where the rest of the world is crazy.
You want to cheer the man on for being a cuckold go for it.
If this is a non-starter for you, then two months of non-consensual celibacy is a completely unfair request and you should tell her she can't cut you off, because she does not know where you are getting it. If you think you can be happy with the arrangement, then figure out what you DO need and communicate that to your wife.
To me this looks like someone either too chicken just dump her old life and wants you to do it which is why she keeps upping the break point...
Honestly, this is pretty gender-essentialist and unequivocally not true. Men, women, non-binary people... all have DIFFERENT relationship needs not based on their gender. SOME men have a primary need for sex in their relationships. So do some women. SOME women's primary need in a relationship is emotional. So is some men's.
Not just that, but you're literally contradicting the original poster's stated experience _of his own needs_, where he said that his were not as high as his wife's.
I think you need to do some more reading.
I echo Tinwen's point that "fair" and "unfair" are not very helpful concepts - and you seem to know this, as you go on to explain the importance of talking about what partners are willing to explore and not willing to explore. This idea of "fair" is worth pointing out because so many couples seem to get fooled by the assumption that "fairness" and "equitability" will head off a lot of discontent, when in actuality "fairness" really is an empty ideal to strive for. Just because two people are a couple doesn't mean that they have or need to strive for having the same preferences and boundaries. Monogamy tends to promote the ideal that "we share everything" and poly tends to promote the ideal that "we have freedom," but in any good relationship, each partner must know herself and be able to communicate her own preferences and boundaries.
Funny, I’d be willing to bet you what Ive read has sold hundreds of thousands more copies that anything you have read or refer to.
Sorry I forgot those of you that get offended by anyone challenging your poly bubble society where the rest of the world is crazy.
You want to cheer the man on for being a cuckold go for it.
I was responding to the ridiculous premise that men are only in relationships for sex.
Everything I have read in any medium regarding male sexuality has stated that a mans primary need in any relationship style is SEX.
Umm... yeah, sorry, but that's three layers of BS.Everything I have read in any medium regarding male sexuality has stated that a mans primary need in any relationship style is SEX .
Apologies for further derailing this thread, but has to be said.
Umm... yeah, sorry, but that's three layers of BS.
I'm not particularly sexy, but by the time I turned 23 I had no problem getting laid. Once I'd determined that, I started to prefer partners who also enjoyed long dinners or shopping trips or Ren Faire or live music, who were strong-willed & smart & witty & well-read.
So, no. Any statement of "all men are there only for the sex" is utter nonsense.
(And it's also heterocentric, right? Are ALL gay men only gay in order to get laid, & their marriages a collective lie? Do lesbians merely use sex to lure each other into closed monogamy?)
Again, she didn't say that. She said this:So, no. Any statement of "all men are there only for the sex" is utter nonsense.
Everything I have read in any medium regarding male sexuality has stated that a mans primary need in any relationship style is SEX.
Again, she didn't say that. She said this:
"The truth is that sex differences in most areas are relatively small, and there is much more variation between individual people than there is between genders.15 And just because a gender difference is “statically significant” doesn’t mean it’s large, simply that there is a reliable difference, on average.
...
Both men and women rate kindness, an exciting personality, and intelligence as the three most important characteristics in a partner, for example."