Hey there,
I'm quite recent here but am no stranger to poly relationships. In fact I've spent more time in a poly relationship than monos put together (I guess thats quite telling, lol). My last girlfriend of nearly 5 years was bi and we were very unrestricted, allowing each of us plenty of freedom.
I've recently met a girl and become exclusively mono with her. She knew from the beginning that I'm partial to poly relationships, and she has had an indirect taste of the poly lifestyle in the past and she says she is not ignorant about the mechanics etc of this stuff. However she has explicitly said to me that she is not interested in any sort of open relationship with me at all, and I'm really not sure how I feel about this. My initial feelings were that of disappointment, though I didn't leap to any hard and fast decisions. I just decided to accept it, acknowledging that this type of relationship is relatively new to me and that I may be ok with it in the end.
Before we became exclusive I was also in a sexual relationship with a very close friend of mine who's in a poly relationship. Since becoming exclusive I have not seen her, but I am craving being with her again. I feel as though the friendship is missing something without the sex.
I've explained this concept to my girlfriend. She understands but does not want me to be with anyone but her. She says jealousy affects her quite a lot and could not accept me being with someone else. She says she understands that I feel attracted to other women and want to explore sexual relationships with them but doesn't want me to act on them. For her, she has absolutely no interest in pursuing external relationships.
At the moment I am finding myself flirting heavily with women I meet and find attractive, and just today I found myself logging onto a net dating site that I used to be a member of.
On one hand I don't want to do anything that she hasn't given me permission to do; on the other hand I am feeling restricted.
I am very attracted to my girlfriend, and I don't feel the desire to break up with her over this, I find a lot of fulfillment in her and a strong connection, but not enough to quash my desires for outside sexual relationships.
The friend I mentioned earlier is so familiar to me that it would be a very easy thing for me to go behind my gf's back and be with her. I have certainly thought about it and if the opportunity had come up recently, maybe I would have taken it. Emotionally I would feel little to no guilt about it, it would just feel normal and like I'm just hanging out with a friend. But in reality this would be wrong by my gf.
I'm not sure what the bottom line is here. I've never been with someone who fulfills me 120%, though being with someone in a poly relationship certainly makes up for any un-fulfillment (probably the wrong word for it but I'm sure you all get what I'm saying).
So I'm not sure if what I'm looking for is a girl who is open to poly relationships or a girl who can fulfill me to the point that I no longer want to be with anyone else? And I'm not quite sure the later even exists...
I've never really faced a problem like this before, as like I said, pretty much all I've known is a very successful poly relationship with little to no jealousy and no hang ups. So I'm really not sure how to handle this. I'm sure most people have experienced plenty of this and hopefully have some advice for me.
I'm quite recent here but am no stranger to poly relationships. In fact I've spent more time in a poly relationship than monos put together (I guess thats quite telling, lol). My last girlfriend of nearly 5 years was bi and we were very unrestricted, allowing each of us plenty of freedom.
I've recently met a girl and become exclusively mono with her. She knew from the beginning that I'm partial to poly relationships, and she has had an indirect taste of the poly lifestyle in the past and she says she is not ignorant about the mechanics etc of this stuff. However she has explicitly said to me that she is not interested in any sort of open relationship with me at all, and I'm really not sure how I feel about this. My initial feelings were that of disappointment, though I didn't leap to any hard and fast decisions. I just decided to accept it, acknowledging that this type of relationship is relatively new to me and that I may be ok with it in the end.
Before we became exclusive I was also in a sexual relationship with a very close friend of mine who's in a poly relationship. Since becoming exclusive I have not seen her, but I am craving being with her again. I feel as though the friendship is missing something without the sex.
I've explained this concept to my girlfriend. She understands but does not want me to be with anyone but her. She says jealousy affects her quite a lot and could not accept me being with someone else. She says she understands that I feel attracted to other women and want to explore sexual relationships with them but doesn't want me to act on them. For her, she has absolutely no interest in pursuing external relationships.
At the moment I am finding myself flirting heavily with women I meet and find attractive, and just today I found myself logging onto a net dating site that I used to be a member of.
On one hand I don't want to do anything that she hasn't given me permission to do; on the other hand I am feeling restricted.
I am very attracted to my girlfriend, and I don't feel the desire to break up with her over this, I find a lot of fulfillment in her and a strong connection, but not enough to quash my desires for outside sexual relationships.
The friend I mentioned earlier is so familiar to me that it would be a very easy thing for me to go behind my gf's back and be with her. I have certainly thought about it and if the opportunity had come up recently, maybe I would have taken it. Emotionally I would feel little to no guilt about it, it would just feel normal and like I'm just hanging out with a friend. But in reality this would be wrong by my gf.
I'm not sure what the bottom line is here. I've never been with someone who fulfills me 120%, though being with someone in a poly relationship certainly makes up for any un-fulfillment (probably the wrong word for it but I'm sure you all get what I'm saying).
So I'm not sure if what I'm looking for is a girl who is open to poly relationships or a girl who can fulfill me to the point that I no longer want to be with anyone else? And I'm not quite sure the later even exists...
I've never really faced a problem like this before, as like I said, pretty much all I've known is a very successful poly relationship with little to no jealousy and no hang ups. So I'm really not sure how to handle this. I'm sure most people have experienced plenty of this and hopefully have some advice for me.