Curious newbie in South Florida!

Esiluna

New member
Hi everybody!

I just joined this forum after reading a few of the posts and deciding that I needed to learn more. I am a bi 30 year-old married woman. I’ve spent the last year finally coming to terms with my sexuality after years of simply trying to ignore it. Long story short, I grew up in the Caribbean and went to a catholic school, so being queer was just not acceptable so I repressed a lot, for a very long time. I had a few experiences with women throughout college but was always paranoid about coming out. Even now in South Florida, there are few spaces for a woman of color to express her sexuality without being judged and that is not a bar or club.

My husband is super supportive. After months of agonizing over it, I just told him that I think I want to date a woman. He was so open and understanding, and expressed that he’s always wondered about having a polyamorous relationship, but more in the sense of there being another man in the house for him to bond with.

I dated a woman for a few weeks last year, but she wanted to go faster than I felt comfortable with. I was still adjusting to just the notion of dating girls. I’m sad we ended it because I really thought something great could have developed with her, but I did get a better understanding of what I want, which is a more committed type of relationship (I believe poly-fi is the term? Still learning).

And that’s where I’m at right now. I’d like to date someone but don’t know where to meet a girl who’d be open to it. Sorry for the info dump, but I’m really excited to be here and learn more about myself by reading your experiences and advice!
 
Greetings Esiluna,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You might want to try OKCupid, if you haven't already, it is fairly tolerant of poly/bi, and is still a very active site. On Polyamory.com you can read/post in Dating & Friendships, which is certainly less active than OKC but sometimes it can help. Other options ...

And you can read/post on any of our boards here, we are generally a friendly bunch and can offer advice.

Re: poly-fi ... is one kind of committed poly, like if there are three people in a poly-fi unit, they only have sex with each other. Or they won't date a fourth person at all. Or some combination like that. You can visit http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=15365 for more definitions.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay with us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hi Esiluna - and welcome to the Forum! We will look forward to hearing more of your story as it unfolds. Please do not hesitate to post specific thoughts and questions in the General Poly Discussion or Poly Relationships Corner sections - they are generally quite active. Best of luck on your journey! Al
 
Greetings fellow South Floridian! You didn't say which county. I am in Broward. There are two meetup groups there. One is called Black Poly. You can find them on meetups.com. I have no idea how active they are as I haven't had time to check the other one out. OKC has a fair amount of people on it. I'm sure there are some bi poly women on there. Good luck with your search
 
Thank you both for the warm welcome!

And thank you for the info and links, Kevin! OkCupid is where I met the first girl I dated and when I went back to create a new profile, the whole online experience was strange and I didn’t have the emotional stamina for it. Maybe I’ll give it another go soon, as well as the other sites you mentioned.

In an ideal world, I would just meet a nice girl who’s into the same things I am, and we could be committed to each other. Yet, if there’s one thing I’ve seen repeated (in the few poly articles I’ve read), is that one should be open to possibilities and let things develop organically.

So that’s what I’m here to do. Learn and grow and hope that I meet nice people along the way. :)
 
Hello vinsanity!

I’m in Miami Dade, so Broward isn’t too bad of a distance. I’ll look into that! Thank you!
 
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