Hi all, just here for some open minded feedback, this is obviously not something I can discuss in 'real life'.
I've been with my husband for 7yrs and we have a 4yr old daughter. All is totally rosy, we might argue a bit about money because we are poor but that's our only issue, we love each other and communicate openly.
We also live and work with his older, single brother.
(you know where this is going now, right?)
The brother is a lovely man, quite similar but also quite different to my husband. He has always been single, he just cannot bring himself to be braver with women. I like him, we get on really well. I don't know if he would like me sexually, that is a line we've both been careful not to cross! He is desperate for a family, he's amazing with our daughter, treats her like his own. It breaks my heart that he can't have that too, he is so kind and funny, I would have him! Time is running out for him, he's over 40 and women his age will not be fertile for much longer. I've tried to do some subtle matchmaking for him, but in truth I have come to feel like he belongs to me and would be a little territorial with another woman about so I've been glad deep down when it's come to nothing
As said we almost live together, and do work together all three - I look after him as far as is appropriate, buying him clothes and feeding him and all those kinds of things some men struggle with! I think some people who know me may already have questions about what exactly our relationship IS because for the last 7yrs I've just hung out with both these men! I've seen them give me funny looks and drop tiny hints.
It would be small jump to sleeping together...but obviously, I know that's a big leap in reality so I have done nothing since I don't want to detonate my relationship with my husband! Maybe/probably this will come to nothing, head says don't go there and I listen to my head, but my heart whispers to me....
I've always been open to poly relationships so long as it's between consenting adults. I haven't pursued it though because it just seems so 'out there', I realise I'm in a minority. My husband is aware I would not at all mind a MMF threesome, but this isn't really that since I don't see it as a kinky sex thing, I would be happy to have sex with either, separately or together, and would NOT expect them to touch each other (incest! and it's not my bag). I know my husband would not be keen on me having sex outside our marriage, but I do wonder how it would be with his brother, since they are friends as well as brothers and work colleagues. It's a beaudiful thang - which makes me doubly nervous since if it went wrong, there is SO much at stake. Home, careers AND close family ties
Adding kids seems another minefield. I would not envisage an 'open' relationship since i KNOW it would jeapordise our business and their family would hate the idea (religious). I wouldnt want my daughter to suffer because of her weirdo parents antics, so I would keep it very secret from her too. Luckily I think we could get away with it due to our current unique lifestyle. It'd be a LOT harder if I were to give the brother his longed-for child though, I'm sure intelligent readers can see why!
Sooooo, anything to add? Any suggestions? I'm not sure whether to forget the whole thing and stay as we are, try asking my husband for his thoughts on the basis that if he has any concerns we will never go there again (will that be enough or will it poison his mind forever?) or go for a longterm approach of simply including the brother more and more and testing the reaction to each step. Just spending more time with him, cooking more for him, little things like that, until he is even more 'one of the family'? Obviously stopping if he pushed me away or my husband seemed jealous.
I've been with my husband for 7yrs and we have a 4yr old daughter. All is totally rosy, we might argue a bit about money because we are poor but that's our only issue, we love each other and communicate openly.
We also live and work with his older, single brother.
(you know where this is going now, right?)
The brother is a lovely man, quite similar but also quite different to my husband. He has always been single, he just cannot bring himself to be braver with women. I like him, we get on really well. I don't know if he would like me sexually, that is a line we've both been careful not to cross! He is desperate for a family, he's amazing with our daughter, treats her like his own. It breaks my heart that he can't have that too, he is so kind and funny, I would have him! Time is running out for him, he's over 40 and women his age will not be fertile for much longer. I've tried to do some subtle matchmaking for him, but in truth I have come to feel like he belongs to me and would be a little territorial with another woman about so I've been glad deep down when it's come to nothing
As said we almost live together, and do work together all three - I look after him as far as is appropriate, buying him clothes and feeding him and all those kinds of things some men struggle with! I think some people who know me may already have questions about what exactly our relationship IS because for the last 7yrs I've just hung out with both these men! I've seen them give me funny looks and drop tiny hints.
It would be small jump to sleeping together...but obviously, I know that's a big leap in reality so I have done nothing since I don't want to detonate my relationship with my husband! Maybe/probably this will come to nothing, head says don't go there and I listen to my head, but my heart whispers to me....
I've always been open to poly relationships so long as it's between consenting adults. I haven't pursued it though because it just seems so 'out there', I realise I'm in a minority. My husband is aware I would not at all mind a MMF threesome, but this isn't really that since I don't see it as a kinky sex thing, I would be happy to have sex with either, separately or together, and would NOT expect them to touch each other (incest! and it's not my bag). I know my husband would not be keen on me having sex outside our marriage, but I do wonder how it would be with his brother, since they are friends as well as brothers and work colleagues. It's a beaudiful thang - which makes me doubly nervous since if it went wrong, there is SO much at stake. Home, careers AND close family ties
Adding kids seems another minefield. I would not envisage an 'open' relationship since i KNOW it would jeapordise our business and their family would hate the idea (religious). I wouldnt want my daughter to suffer because of her weirdo parents antics, so I would keep it very secret from her too. Luckily I think we could get away with it due to our current unique lifestyle. It'd be a LOT harder if I were to give the brother his longed-for child though, I'm sure intelligent readers can see why!
Sooooo, anything to add? Any suggestions? I'm not sure whether to forget the whole thing and stay as we are, try asking my husband for his thoughts on the basis that if he has any concerns we will never go there again (will that be enough or will it poison his mind forever?) or go for a longterm approach of simply including the brother more and more and testing the reaction to each step. Just spending more time with him, cooking more for him, little things like that, until he is even more 'one of the family'? Obviously stopping if he pushed me away or my husband seemed jealous.
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