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Old 01-18-2013, 06:48 AM
Precious1 Precious1 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 34
Default Long Rant & Just need reassurance to get thru weekend

Tough weekend, Could use some reassurance to get through it.

Lonf story as short as I can condense:
SO Sunshine's son's wedding is Sat. Kids invited me.
Discovered Sunshine's wife was wigging out and wanted me to pretend I was "just a friend" as she is still in closet with her two sibs.
Found out two days ago.
She didn't have wherewithall to tell me directly, or even tell him directly, only hinted to her hubby.
Phone game doesn't work folks!
I'm not a good liar or actress and could not promise in good conscience that I could pretend. I know myself too well. So I made the call to bow out.
I'm openly poly. So is sunshine - since me...
Sunshine is devastated. As am I. He feels I am being inflexible, but says he understands. We're both pissed/disappointed in the communication He is upset that S waited so long, and is still in the closet after so many years.
I do not want not be the one to out her.
She could not even come to telling him herself. I had to. I had to make the call and tell him she said "If he wants to know I agree, have him text me."

Anyone reassure me I made the right call in staying home?

SO's wife, S, convinced me almost a 1 -1/2 years ago not to break up with him.. I wanted to because I was afraid of outing her inadvertently to her coworkers and politcal world by being with him in public. He was afraid to, to he's drop my hand and I felt I had to pretend... I can't be happy that way. So she reassured both of us it was OK, that I didn't need to pretend and begged me to stay.

I feel I've lost what little respect I had for S. I still respect their marriage and his love for her and do not want him to lose that.
I want to walk away from the best relationship I have ever known, and I want to keep it. I have always, from the start,stated that if I ever felt I was negatively affecting their relationship I would walk away.

Now I question, is it me, or is it their communication issues that I feel negatively affect their relationship. Would it make any difference if I left, their issues would still be there, only I would not hold the guilty feelings of me contributing. It hurts so much.

Sigh. He loves me. I love him. Missing sharing in this wonderful event for the kids to shine is a small concession, compared to losing our relationship. I'm sure it will feel less intense as time goes on, but the wound is so fresh it feels like my world is collapsing.

Thanks for letting me rant.
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