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Old 02-12-2010, 04:10 AM
SNights SNights is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Default The best way for it to work?

Ok, this is kind of odd for me to talk about on a forum :P. I find it very hard to talk about for fear of being judged and as such basically none of my friends or family know how I feel.

I'm a 22 year old female and have been with my current partner for just over 5 years (we have lived together for 3.5 of those). Until last summer the relationship was entirely monogomous but then I started having casual encounters with one of my male friends (with my partner's knowledge and permission). I guess all through my relationship I have taken fancy to other males... generally just one at a time. The way I feel about the other guys is mainly sexual but I guess there is an emotional connection there too... I do care about them, just not on the same deep spiritual level that I do with my partner. The relationship I have with my partner is very strong and we have really good communication... he knows and accepts how I feel even though its not really something he feels or understands himself. He is very monogamous, he doesn't even really look at other females although I think he would be curious to experiment with casual encounters. We have tried one mfm threesome and that was good fun but it doesn't fill the same "need" that I have by having two separate lovers. Basically in my perfect world I would live with my current partner as my "main" partner and as my rock and my love and I would have another partner as a bit on the side in a completely open relationship. I guess the secondary partners could be quite short term, just as long as they lasted naturally, with there being room for me and my current partner to have "casual" encounters as well.

Can that ever really work? I have heard a lot of different opinions on polygamy and the best way for it to work. A lot of people say it can only work if each partner is treated equally and there is no favouritism? That is not something that would ever work in my situation so am I doomed? Others say that that is unrealistic and there will always be one "main" partner and then secondary partners?

What do you think?
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