Unicorns & Unicorn Hunters - Merged Threads, General Discussion

[everyone here is a sockpuppet of Franklin Veaux and...]

and his French, grammatically correct yet def ears hears "We want a hot bi babe, how come everyone is fake? We're entitled to a sex toy, and we demand it!"

You are an adult, your spouse is an adult, and I assume you wouldn't get involved with minors, just be patient and understanding of your friends and know how to pick and choose the advice that fits you and your life. Franklin's sites are not the best source for triad information. If you were homosexual you wouldn't read blog posts at the Westboro Christian site would you?

so unless you think segregated, multi person dating is your poly flavor, take franks words with a grain of salt, or better yet spit it out, you'll be doing wrong unless you practice french proprietary poly

Dirt, I really object to your constant statements that there is nothing right about Franklin Veaux's information and that many of us (me included) are socks of his. My opinions are my own, I have been practicing polyamory with varied degrees of success since 1999. I am a middle aged female residing in Massachusetts and if you'd read my posts you'd see that to be so. Unless I am a novelist with a big imagination. Your repetitive statements are verging on paranoid.

Yes, there is a right way to do a triad. This thread is meant to show the mistaken attitude of Unicorn Hunting. The outcomes of this type of hunt are in threads all over the board. They do not all come from Veaux's keyboard. :rolleyes:
 
My opinions are my own too, I can't believe he is still going on about everyone (except him) being Franklin Veaux sock puppets.
 
My opinions are my own too, I can't believe he is still going on about everyone (except him) being Franklin Veaux sock puppets.

Ditto.. Dirt was making sense there for a while and thought things moved beyond this bs.. I see the conspiracy theories are back.
 
Who is this Franklin?
The author of the morethantwo website. I posted a couple links to articles from it upthread.
 
In my early 20's I really had the desire for a girlfriend. My husband at the time was not ok with this unless he was "In on it" I never did get a girlfriend because of this. I feel like he was really trying to prevent me from being with someone else by making it a triad or nothing stipulation.

I never wanted a triad, I wanted to date separately but to him that was unacceptable. well not completely since it was okay for him to have a girlfriend.
 
Franklin has a lot of great info on his site.
But he does also have a very utopian viewpoint on relationships.
There are some people who aren't THERE even if someday they will be.

I like to think of life as an educational system. It's not about age-it's about experience. People with no experience enter kindergarten. Expecting them to understand much less operate under the ideals Franklin lays out-is crazy and won't happen.
Once they get through "primary school" they are more prepared to read and even understand what he's talking about and graduate school becomes the spot where someone could potentially do that.

BUT-he also doesn't take into consideration personality styles which is a huge issues-because there are several (4-5) key different attachment styles that are well documented in humans and his ideals only work for one of those. So... 20% of the people if you split them evenly (I am sure they aren't split evenly-but really, right now I'm too tired to bother going and searching my textbooks for the accepted % split and references.

I did however read an interesting blog post regarding all of this that you might find interesting (regarding the attachment styles and Franklin's work-not triads) written by someone who knows him personally and evidently gets along with him-but still disagrees. I don't know him personally. I have talked with him online and I enjoy A LOT of his information. But-there are limits to who can functionally use it and when.

http://much-ado.livejournal.com/2367604.html
 
Like Magdlyn I made a disastrous mistake also, I am not really able to talk about it still as it is too painful (really dedicated people can easily find out) but I would never, ever want any one to go through what I went through.

Here, I sense, is the core problem that many people might be experiencing with your (both of you) posts.

Just because a triad didn't work out for you, and the fact that you are carrying unhealed pain from this, does NOT mean that a triad will never work for anyone else. This is a classic case of projection. There are other people in the world with different backgrounds and capabilities that may be able to manage what you can't. That's life.

Triad's can, and do, work for some people. In my experience however they require a level of emotional maturity and experience that many people who are just beginning to explore poly lack. The train wrecks that happen as a result are, in many cases, completely avoidable if all parties concerned had simply done a bit of homework.

This forum works well when it provides an opportunity for people to learn from the experience of others. That is a truly invaluable service.

The forum may less useful however when it is used as a way for people who have had less-than-successful experiences to offload their judgements and emotional distress on people who may simply be looking for advice.

Most people who have had a distressful experience would, if they have any empathic capabilities at all, not wish someone else to go through the same hell they have. That is completely understandable. But it is possible that the hell people have gone through is not completely systemic, but can have something to do with their own choices.
 
Here, I sense, is the core problem that many people might be experiencing with your (both of you) posts.

Ha! Who are these "many" people?


Triad's can, and do, work for some people


Again, we are talking of Unicorn Hunters, not triads, I personally think triads don't work for long, but that is a separate issue (that did not involve Unicorn Hunting btw).
 
Here, I sense, is the core problem that many people might be experiencing with your (both of you) posts.

Just because a triad didn't work out for you, and the fact that you are carrying unhealed pain from this, does NOT mean that a triad will never work for anyone else.

Where did Nadja or I say triads never work? For heavens' sake, of course triads work. It's Unicorn Hunting that doesn't work. Like the ads on our Personals forum, a couple hunting for "our special lady."

Triads work when they happen naturally. When one poly partner dates separately, finds a nice woman (or man), that person meets her partner's spouse/original/primary partner, they become friends, they become lovers, all 3 are in relationship polyamorously. Read the blog here of our member pulliman. His triad came together naturally.

I was a Unicorn Hunter. I was bi, my ex h finally accepted that, he had the common male fantasy of having sex with 2 women at once, we found a woman and .... it all went to hell in a handbasket.


And I believe I am healed from what happened. It was back in 1999-early 2000. I know what mistakes I/we made. I'm even divorced from that guy, we separated in 2008, and I have been dating since 2009. I have 2 long term partners, and we are all free to date separately.

We could be more of a triad but it seems my gf isn't interested in sex with my bf, despite a few sessions last year. They do have nice kisses and hugs and cuddles though. They actually love each other, but are not bf and gf.

Once again, I am definitely not anti-triad. Unicorn Hunting just doesn't work! And not just for me, for pretty much everyone.
 
Ha! Who are these "many" people?

A number of people asking about triads have found the responses they get here a tad harsh. I'm sure you've noticed this.

The OP did use the title "Triads, Unicorns, Unicorn Hunters, sexual 3somes, etc" which I took to include Triads.

Personally think triads don't work for long, but that is a separate issue (that did not involve Unicorn Hunting btw).

This fascinating book contains data that you may find interesting and that contradicts your assertion.
 
Where did Nadja or I say triads never work? For heavens' sake, of course triads work. It's Unicorn Hunting that doesn't work.

Thanks for clarifying that. I concur.
 
A number of people asking about triads have found the responses they get here a tad harsh. I'm sure you've noticed this.

I would find the Krusha of my Poly fantasy harsh too...but it doesn't mean we speak with a forked tongue.

The OP did use the title "Triads, Unicorns, Unicorn Hunters, sexual 3somes, etc" which I took to include Triads.

Well it doesn't so... yeah.


This fascinating book contains data that you may find interesting and that contradicts your assertion.

Do you know how a Menage is usually defined? It isn't really what most people think. Regardless, one book does not a good argument make Northome.
 
A number of people asking about triads have found the responses they get here a tad harsh. I'm sure you've noticed this.

No, people are not generally "asking about triads" very often here at all. They write in to complain about their faltering unicorn arrangements (woman partnered to a couple and treated like a second class citizen), or to complain about how they insist on dating as a unit but can't find "that special lady."

Once in a while a Unicorn Hunter comes in to talk about how to do that, and accepts the reasonable advice that going about it that way will probably not work.

The OP did use the title "Triads, Unicorns, Unicorn Hunters, sexual 3somes, etc" which I took to include Triads.

Well, Unicorn Hunters and self-styled Unicorns are looking for a triad. Read my 2 original posts to remind yourself of what I wanted to discuss in this thread. Maybe you only read the title.
 
That search feature would be so useful on Fetlife.
 
Back
Top