MayDecember
New member
Sorry I have been posting for a little while without introduction.
It's mainly because I don't have problems to report, things are just so peachy in a way I never knew was possible.
I think the reason we have been so successful is that we were very careful about gradually working our way into our situation and we are zealous about clear and relentless communication. We don't drink or do drugs, smoke tobacco or gamble... it's plain vanilla with sex and maybe even stodgy for it's traditional Wife-Mistress structure.
Poly has its own thrilling benefits along with its problems. Nothing in life is free, and if you can't do the time, then don't do the crime. There's going to be times where you have to pull that empathy ambulance up to a partner and validate their feelings. Then you have to leave her in a pile of steaming goo.
We have a technical constraint in that we have houses in two different countries and practice poly only in her country. It is out of the question where we live most of the time - it's such a remote place and the whole point is to enjoy nature in solitude. Neither of us has the slightest interest in it until we are in her country.
We can't go more than five or six months at a time there with a mistress until we move there permanently which will be three or four years. But it's been pretty great having both families know exactly what the situation is, so it avoids all of the lying, abusive manipulation you have with illicit affairs.
It's easy to explain. You love your first child. Having the second child just adds to the total quantity of love rather than taking love away from the first. When you see your wife/husband interacting with your children in a loving way, it warms your heart. It's called compersion.
We've learned what works for us, and it should be no surprise that it follows a very long tradition that cuts across many different cultures. Usually it is a pretty good idea to learn from the experience and wisdom of the people who came before you.
I see a lot of warm feelings and messages of support and empathy here. That is wonderful.
It's mainly because I don't have problems to report, things are just so peachy in a way I never knew was possible.
I think the reason we have been so successful is that we were very careful about gradually working our way into our situation and we are zealous about clear and relentless communication. We don't drink or do drugs, smoke tobacco or gamble... it's plain vanilla with sex and maybe even stodgy for it's traditional Wife-Mistress structure.
Poly has its own thrilling benefits along with its problems. Nothing in life is free, and if you can't do the time, then don't do the crime. There's going to be times where you have to pull that empathy ambulance up to a partner and validate their feelings. Then you have to leave her in a pile of steaming goo.
We have a technical constraint in that we have houses in two different countries and practice poly only in her country. It is out of the question where we live most of the time - it's such a remote place and the whole point is to enjoy nature in solitude. Neither of us has the slightest interest in it until we are in her country.
We can't go more than five or six months at a time there with a mistress until we move there permanently which will be three or four years. But it's been pretty great having both families know exactly what the situation is, so it avoids all of the lying, abusive manipulation you have with illicit affairs.
It's easy to explain. You love your first child. Having the second child just adds to the total quantity of love rather than taking love away from the first. When you see your wife/husband interacting with your children in a loving way, it warms your heart. It's called compersion.
We've learned what works for us, and it should be no surprise that it follows a very long tradition that cuts across many different cultures. Usually it is a pretty good idea to learn from the experience and wisdom of the people who came before you.
I see a lot of warm feelings and messages of support and empathy here. That is wonderful.
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