Saturday/Sunday we stayed up all night and all day talking (Maca and I).
He expressed that he understood why it's hard for me to open up and trust him, rely on him because he's been so "wishy washy" about doing the work needed in order to make this relationship work etc.
He said he was determined and committed to doing the work and making things work.
Every day since he's been moody and insecure, the emotions hovering just below the surface. I've tried to talk with him, reassure him, comfort him etc.
Tuesday we had a good day together. Then just before bed he got pissed, because I told GG that I had written to him adn he wasn't going to appreciate it-but needed to read it. Maca was jealous-because I hadn't written him.
He said, "that was rude".
The conversation went downhill quite quickly and I went to bed.
He came down a little while later and apologized, said he had overreacted etc. We talked about the difference (again) between judging someone/verbally attacking them and expressing ones' own emotion.
It was tense, and I'm feeling guarded again-it's only been a couple DAYS since our talk about how he was going to hold himself accountable to do this stuff..... it's a repetitious pattern. A cycle of emotional/mental abuse and I feel like a moron letting it continue.
I slept on the couch.
This morning he came up and asked me why-I told him I didn't feel comfortable in our room.
He got angry and he's decided he's getting an apartment. He said we need to discuss the $ situation tonight and figure out how to cut expenses (I'm running out of options there) so that he can afford his own place.
The truth is that without another income in the house-there isn't a way to make it work. So either I have to go to work, or he'd have to have a roommate or something. I need a bare minimum of $2000 after GG's income to cover the basic household expenses not including groceries, gas, medication, assundries.....
On top of all of that, what the hell does him getting an apartment MEAN?
I just want the drama to stop. I'm so tired of it all.