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Old 07-07-2018, 08:15 PM
TeamFriendship TeamFriendship is offline
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Arrow Went in-depth talking "Sex at Dawn" with my newly-married brother

My brother and I are both in monogamous relationships, so we took a very different message from "Sex at Down." Part of the reason monogamy is so difficult is because of the overall breakdown of community, and the pressure that puts on a single relationship. Whether you want to be polyamorous or monogamous, we could all be more communal, we could all enjoy different varieties of intimacy with dozens of close friends and relatives, but we still tend to isolate ourselves and put all of our hopes into one person to fix the feelings of isolation. What do you all think about the breakdown of community and how it affects our relationships?

Has exploring the polyamorous option opened you up to a larger tribe?
(Conversation here).
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Old 07-07-2018, 11:49 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hello TeamFriendship,

I read Sex at Dawn, I found it to be a very interesting and worthwhile read. I did not agree with everything the authors said, but I liked the fact that all of it made me think. I recommend it for anyone who is confronted with nonmonogamy and doesn't know how to cope with the idea, it does a good job of explaining why nonmonogamy is a natural human condition.

Regards,
Kevin T.
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Old 07-09-2018, 07:44 PM
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vinsanity0 vinsanity0 is offline
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It hasn't opened me up to a larger tribe. Why? Because poly is the only thing I have in common with other poly people. People need more than that to connect.

I also question the need for community. Sometimes communities create pressure to conform.
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Old 07-09-2018, 09:50 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeamFriendship View Post
... we still tend to isolate ourselves and put all of our hopes into one person to fix the feelings of isolation. What do you all think about the breakdown of community and how it affects our relationships?

Has exploring the polyamorous option opened you up to a larger tribe?
(Conversation here).
"We" don't isolate ourselves and put all our hopes into one person. Maybe monogamous people tend to be too codependent, putting all their eggs into one basket. One of the beauties of polyamory is it encourages healthy independence while also encouraging deep intimacy.

I watched some of your youtube. You and your brother are both very articulate and thoughtful.

Are you asking opinions here to collect information for another youtube about polyamory?
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Old 07-10-2018, 05:37 PM
icesong icesong is offline
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I think for me it's both opened up some communities and closed other doors. I live in a liberal area... but amatonormativity is STILL a thing and so in, for instance, the local parents' FB group, when the subject of non-monogamy comes up there's still a lot of judgement - and there are people there who think that one shouldn't even have dinner alone with a person of the opposite sex if they're married!

And the time I spend with partners DOES cut into time I spend with some of my friend communities... on the other hand I have a lot of really beautiful people in my life - not my partners - who I wouldn't know without poly so...
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Old 07-10-2018, 07:30 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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I don't like using the word seeking a tribe or wanting to be part of a tribe. Yes, I want to be part of a community. And I belong to several. And tribe is very popular nowadays as a stand in for a sense of belonging to a community.

But, historically, being in a tribe has usually meant being totally willing to slaughter, mistreat, and abuse anyone not in the tribe. You are in the tribe or you are not. And if you are not, you can be killed, enslaved, abused.

So no, I don't want a tribe. I want communities that are open and supportive to a wide range of people, who don't all look or act alike but treat each other well.
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