New and so sad

Don't take it personally, BG is very egalitarian when it comes to dispersing his idiosyncratic brand of feedback. He just didn't get the polite and subtle subroutine when they were handing out communication software :D

Right, I got the "low bullshit threshold subroutine" when they were handing out the software because I was first in line and they only had like ten of those. By the time all the fashionably late people got their subroutines, all they had left was "polite and subtle". I think COBOL disappeared at the end of the 1900's, but I'm not certain.

But I've noticed that he generally has valid points, so it might be worth having a read even if his presentation rubs you the wrong way. I mean, 10 days is a rather short period of time to start making plans even when NRE is running full blast...

The "R" in "NRE" stands for "relationship". This was not a "relationship" so there could not have been "NRE". Ten days and two dates is TEN DAYS AND TWO DATES. Yes it can BECOME a "relationship" but really seriously come on. The OP did this to herself, inside her mind. Unrealistic expectations, not "NRE".

"NRE". Pfeh. :rolleyes:
 
a WEEK and a HALF ago? You mean like, ten DAYS ago?

How old are you?

Take a bath in some ice water. That should set you straight.

OP,
What BG wrote wasn't rude at all - I was going to write the same thing. Just because you ask posters to be "gentle" doesn't mean you're going to get "gentle."

I mean, crying your eyes out over someone you only knew for ten days -- really? I'd seriously be worried about my state of mind if I found myself doing that. Have you been depressed lately? Are you on meds that maybe need an adjustment in dosage? It's one thing to be happy and hopeful over someone you just met, but weepy is another thing entirely, and not a reasonable response. Even if you were monogamous, it sounds like you don't have much of a stomach for dating in general, if that was your reaction. Therapy might help.
 
The "R" in "NRE" stands for "relationship". This was not a "relationship" so there could not have been "NRE". Ten days and two dates is TEN DAYS AND TWO DATES. Yes it can BECOME a "relationship" but really seriously come on. The OP did this to herself, inside her mind. Unrealistic expectations, not "NRE".

"NRE". Pfeh. :rolleyes:

It may not have been a real commited relationship, but you know those exciting hormones can kick in after just one make out session... I've had that happen. I think you may have too, BG.

Plus erkabu has NRE for poly itself. A romantic newbie's view of it, to be sure, with one big happy family, and her and the wife bffs and the kids all playing together. Just because we are middle aged and bitter doesn't mean we have to pee all over someone's lovely fantasies being dashed.
 
I've had that happen. I think you may have too, BG.

Yes, I call them "endorphins", not "relationship energy". One is based on brain chemistry, the other is some new-agey hoo-hah (I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST NEW-AGEY HOO-HAH BUT LET"S CALL IT WHAT IT IS).

Ten days + two dates = brain-chemistry imbalance (also known as a "bender")
 
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Plus erkabu has NRE for poly itself. A romantic newbie's view of it, to be sure, with one big happy family, and her and the wife bffs and the kids all playing together. Just because we are middle aged and bitter doesn't mean we have to pee all over someone's lovely fantasies being dashed.

Remember that woman who had a dream about having a threesome with like some greek or roman gods and came here all convinced that she'd had a poly relationship in her dream? That's what this is like except it was while the OP was awake.
 
Remember that woman who had a dream about having a threesome with like some greek or roman gods and came here all convinced that she'd had a poly relationship in her dream? That's what this is like except it was while the OP was awake.

Ok BG...U made me spit out some of my shipwreck (drink) in laughter. Ur funny.

In all seriousness though, you usually make great points in ur posts, and I respect ur no bullshit stance... :D
 
Ok BG...U made me spit out some of my shipwreck (drink) in laughter. Ur funny.

In all seriousness though, you usually make great points in ur posts, and I respect ur no bullshit stance... :D


I don't make this shit up.

What is in a "Shipwreck"?
 
I don't make this shit up.

What is in a "Shipwreck"?

Oh I never said you make things up, just find how you put things funny, thats all.

Shipwreck is oj, pineapple juice, grenadine, light rum, triple sec, midori..served ovr ice....if u want exact amts let me know, I wld be happy to share the specifics of tht recipe. It was a drink we had when we attended our local renaissance festival, it is yummy.
 
I get being disappointed, the crying might seem extreme but it seriously sucks when you have chemistry with someone and the kabosh for whatever reason.

I had a series of disastrous OKC dates a couple of years back, happy to only see those guys once! Only to finally catch up with one half of a couple I hd seen around the place for a few years, finally some chemistry....

Only to find out they would only accept a Unicorn, it was their only purpose in Poly. That was vexing to a the least.
 
I think some people just use okc to give themselves an ego boost, like picking up a different stranger in a bar or club every night, or drinking, or talking about their custom-built mercedes nonstop. They have no intention of sustaining a relationship, regardless of "chemistry". Boo hoo hooing won't change that. I'm not saying don't boo hoo hoo but get it over with and get on wth your life. You were burned. Did you not have anything going for you in your life ten days ago? Well, now it's like 12 or 13 days... But do you still have a job? A place to live? Enough money to buy food?
 
it seriously sucks when you have chemistry with someone and the kabosh for whatever reason.

And it can happen after 10 days and 2 dates. Took me 3 years to get over one such encounter.

The brain / biochemistry thing works in mysterious ways and is very powerful. It's not that easy to simply make it 'go away' through logical reasoning or force of will either.

If it was I guess there wouldn't have had so many novels / operas / plays / movies exploring the theme.
 
I seriously think some of you have issues if you think it's a valuable use of your time to tear people apart on here and pass your judgments, post your insults, and ridicule others. Maybe you should consider your own mental state if this is how you spend your time and consider therapy a good option.

Thank you to everyone who read my initial post and who was so kind to send me some sympathy and good advice. If I could have filtered out the ridicule and insults it would have really helped me heal.
 
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