I'm in a poly Vee where my metamour and I cannot get along. We both have resentment towards each other.
This is so hard on our girlfriend and is causing her extreme stress. This is something I'm sure that neither "Jack" or myself want for our love.
Hearing from our girlfriend, Jack has decided to let go of the past. He wants to move forward. The three of have started to see a poly friendly counselor. (Not as a Vee, but as both halves separately)
I have thought of an idea so that we can (well, to be honest, I can. It is not fair for me to speak for Jack) work on compersion between us. I have offered to give up some of my time on our amours days with me so that he can come over, have dinner, maybe either talk about social issues (light comversation) or watch a movie as a group, it could help our relationship become more social or cordial at least. "Jill" could feel what polyamory should feel like and not this being pulled emotionally by two guys who don't really like each other. She could lay her head on one lap and feet on the other and get a mini massage while watching a movie or talking.
At the end of the time, the person's night whose it was to be with Jill (me in this instance) would sleep over and the other partner either sleep in the spare room, on the couch or (after some time and work has been done) possibly in the same bed.
If this cycle continued for some time, I would think it would become easier on everyone to talk about anything that is more serious because we will have rebuilt at least some comfort level of communication.
Now, we are (Jack and I) completely straight. But we both are madly in love with the same woman and if we don't start getting along soon either Jill is going to dump one or both of us. She is so stressed.
Any thoughts on my idea here? Keep in mind this would be with continuous polyship counseling as well.
This is so hard on our girlfriend and is causing her extreme stress. This is something I'm sure that neither "Jack" or myself want for our love.
Hearing from our girlfriend, Jack has decided to let go of the past. He wants to move forward. The three of have started to see a poly friendly counselor. (Not as a Vee, but as both halves separately)
I have thought of an idea so that we can (well, to be honest, I can. It is not fair for me to speak for Jack) work on compersion between us. I have offered to give up some of my time on our amours days with me so that he can come over, have dinner, maybe either talk about social issues (light comversation) or watch a movie as a group, it could help our relationship become more social or cordial at least. "Jill" could feel what polyamory should feel like and not this being pulled emotionally by two guys who don't really like each other. She could lay her head on one lap and feet on the other and get a mini massage while watching a movie or talking.
At the end of the time, the person's night whose it was to be with Jill (me in this instance) would sleep over and the other partner either sleep in the spare room, on the couch or (after some time and work has been done) possibly in the same bed.
If this cycle continued for some time, I would think it would become easier on everyone to talk about anything that is more serious because we will have rebuilt at least some comfort level of communication.
Now, we are (Jack and I) completely straight. But we both are madly in love with the same woman and if we don't start getting along soon either Jill is going to dump one or both of us. She is so stressed.
Any thoughts on my idea here? Keep in mind this would be with continuous polyship counseling as well.