The "How Are You Doing" Thread (redux)

squeeee!

you're just making me anticipate the show even more!!!! Certainly no chance of getting my own souvenir photo like this one, I'm just happy to be able to enjoy it properly as an audience member rather than working on it. The last comedy show I saw was Billy Connolly, but I was operating one of the follow spots. Much restriction on my laughter. Not this time. Whooohooo, countdown continues.
 
I'm okay today. Trying to get going...

Mind is still on shit with Energy...(see my post in Relationships Corner)
It's not like it should be. But it is.

Now to go pack and clean so I can finish moving....
 
Still no drama since last visit! Djinn and I have been working closely in an area where our separate businesses overlap, and that is also going very well.

We have two more visits planned and plane and entertainment tickets purchase for September and October. Then probably not until December. Billie wants to visit her friends who live about 2 hours from Mal and Djinn's place, so I'm trying to sort out travel plans to take advantage of a two-for-one coupon I have with one of the airlines. It'll save me about $500 if I can use it!
 
Not really sure what's wrong with me lately.
I feel off and distant. From everyone. Not really sure where it's coming from. Maybe I'm just tired from the move, but there's a lot of emotions running rampant right now and I'm not sure what they are or where they're coming from.

I feel boring and like a disappointment. I'm really hoping my head gets sorted in the next few days while I rest. Cuba is supposed to come see me this weekend and I do not want to feel this way while he's here. Though I know I'll be happy when I see him, I'd like to get this sorted out before then.

:/
 
Met a guy last night. He is handsome, intelligent, funny, and intriguing. We had a fun, stimulating conversation at dinner and I really, really like him. Exchanged numbers so I hope it works for us to see each other again.

Fingers crossed!


That's always way exciting. 😊
 
Finally got our hose replaced for our washer in the new house so I've spent all day catching up on laundry.

Zed cooked an amazing dinner of salmon and risotto and had Dean and Pixie over to try it. They've both been getting sick so it was nice to feed them this evening.

Kind of sad because I've felt especially clingy to Dean lately and his cuddles are limited because he doesn't want to get us sick. Sad panda.
 
I definitely feel like I need a pen-pal type poly buddy. I have very few poly friends and it's very hard for them to relate in my confused moments.

I'd also just like to have a close poly friend besides my metamour to talk to. Ya know? I dunno, guys. Feeling kind of lonely right now.
 
In the spirit of celebrating the small wins, I've just been moved on to the interview stage of the cool job I'm applying for. And even if I don't end up getting the job, it shows me that I can apply for this type of job in the future (it's a new direction for me).
 
I've been feeling particularly isolated lately.

Zed and Pixie fought really bad this past weekend as well as off and on early into the week. The distraction has made me feel really far away from Zed. He vents his frustrations to me but becomes really aggressive and irrational, which turns to us fighting. Zed and I seem to have gotten past that rough patch, but it's still left me feeling distant and feeling kind of ignored. All while hes saying his feelings are ignored. Yet he's the one that expresses that the loudest.

I've tried to coach Pixie a little, though I don't like getting involved, we are friends and I like her. She seems to be a challenge and driving force that Zed needs, though she has a habit of being far too critical. I just lead her in the direction of more compassion and relating with his ideas. Controlling your inner peace is the best way to approach Zed.

All of this has definitely affected my relationship with Dean. I'm drawn to his consistent composure and his troubles have been noticeable because we function similarly. Yet we haven't really had much of an opportunity to reconnect one on one for over a week now. Even though we live across the street.

Usually it's Cuba I go to about this but I've felt quite needy in that department and I know our relationship doesn't really function like that. That and he hasn't really made it a point to initiate conversation in a couple of months now. It's usually all me. We will make conversation for a while and he seems genuinely interested in what's going on in my life, as long as I initiate the conversation. In person he's great and affectionate. But I feel if he truely cared if this continued, he would actually make his own initiative. But I almost feel guilty for questioning it because I know he's a great man with good intentions. It seems to make him happy to be around me despite his level of contact when i don't see him.

I dunno. This all feels like a mess and I didn't know where else to post.

TLDR: I'm feeling really isolated from my 3 relationships for one particular reason or another. I adore them all, but none of them seem to see that I just want to be heard and held by someone.
 
Sorry to hear you're feeling so isolated, Bunnielight. It's hard when people don't seem to be listening. FWIW here is an internet [[hug.]]
 
Apparently I am stealing all the "good" men.....lol.

Last night I went to dinner with my close friend. We went to a restaurant and we chose to sit at the bar to eat to avoid the 45-60 minute table wait.

We get to chatting about our husbands and families. A woman next to us eased dropped on our conversation. She asks me "Did I hear you correctly that you have two husbands?" I answered that yes I have two husbands.

She proceeded to rip me a new one...lol. Whining that she has a hell of a time meeting "Good" men and then I am not happy with one and that I feel the need to steal the decent men from women like her.


When she finished her tirade I looked at her dead in the eye and said... I am sorry you have had a problem with meeting someone, but have you stopped to think that the common denominator of the problem is you?
 
Happy but exhausted.

Cute moment last night...MrS was sleeping in the bedroom, Dude and I are having sex on the couch. MrS gets up to use the bathroom (has to walk through the room with the couch), Dude calls him over "come kiss this girl" (he knows I get extra wiggly when I have MrS attention!) MrS comes and kisses me and says "WTF? Morning sex?" (which I don't generally do) and goes back to bed.

Half hour later...MrS gets up. "Hey, it's not morning at ALL. That makes a LOT more sense." We play some RockBand and I go to bed.

Under which rocks did I find these two?!?!? Love 'em.

PS. They are both sleeping ... I see some sleepy-molestation coming on. (Don't worry - consent has been previously obtained!)
 
Feeling angry and betrayed. Sick of being used. The whole "don't make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option" thing. Not to mention having certain people tell me I matter and they want me to feel as if they value me...and then proceed to act in a way that shows exactly the opposite.
 
Caught the creeping crud from my kid the other day, so THAT'S fun.

Dropped off the planet for a bit. How many balls do I have in the air? Not sure, but I think one or two of them are chainsaws. Eep!

Had a come-to-Jesus moment about the state of my own feelings of self-worth and how I continually keep looking for it via external sources and not internal ones (sigh). I'm so good at being a do-er until I stop doing for various reasons. Being a "be"-er and just being happy in my own skin comes with such difficulty, dammit. I self-flagellate when I can't "do" and have nothing to fall back on. But I had my EUREKA moment recently (well, more of a KAPOW over the head moment) and I'm at least aware of some of the self-defeating behavior I keep putting myself through.

Anyhoo... I think I'm down a half a box of tissues already today. Hard to do with the chainsaws in the air. GAH! :p
 
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