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Old 08-15-2018, 09:18 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,021

I think the problem I have now is that I don’t know if I can ever be truly happy being in a poly relationship.
When you say "mono" what do you mean?

Like "Monoamorous love style (I want to love 1 sweetie). I want a monogamous relationship shape (I want the relationship shape to be 1:1. No other people in the network)."


Like "Monoamorous love style (I want to love 1 sweetie). I am relationship shape flexible. (I can be ok in a monogamous situation, or I can be ok being the end point in a poly "V" or similar.")

I am afraid I am gonna agree to have life I don’t want.
Why would you agree to something you do not want and go against your own grain, against your own preferences? Rather than speak your truth and go for what you really want?

I immediately feel like crying, that there is something deeply wrong in what I’m doing, I am in so much pain.
I'm very sorry you are in pain.

I also think you could LISTEN to it. It sounds like you are considering doing something you really do not want to do and it causes you upset.

That's not a path to building happiness. That is a path to building regrets and/or resentments.

I suggest that you do NOT make any big decisions like having children until this is sorted out. If you guys are not deepy compatible (and wanting opposing relationship shapes is a fundamental incompatibility) do not have kids.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-15-2018 at 09:21 PM.
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