Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-08-2018, 06:27 AM
BirdbutnotaPenguin's Avatar
BirdbutnotaPenguin BirdbutnotaPenguin is offline
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: California
Posts: 20
Default New Country new partner

I recently moved to Thailand to be a teacher, and im absolutely loving it. For the summer I was teaching Preschool, but for the rest of the year I teach chemistry and physics. I became really good friends with the other high school science teacher, and she introduced me to another teacher about to start- ill call him Teach for the purpose of this site.

So Teach and I hung out a few times while my other friend was present, but it was very clear that there was an intense attraction between the two of us, so we started flirting back and forth. I told him im poly, and he loved that about me, and has the same views on love an relationships, though not exactly poly.

We ended up sleeping together, and hands down- best sex of my life. Its EXTREMELY new. Like a little over a week since we started sleeping together. And im riding that NRE train hard.

But school has started and we aren't telling people at work because its literally been a week, and we dont know what the gossip culture is like. We hang out a lot and I feel really comfortable talking to him about my needs and expectations. He also agrees that what he have is really intense and worth it.

The problem I am facing is that while we are at work, we obviously still talk and hangout- but im having to subdue that NRE giddiness: if you know what I mean. And its creating this emotional drain on myself. Because I want to go up and hug him and kiss him but obviously I cant. And we go out and do a lot of group things off campus with other teachers, but I still feel like I cant be myself. Its just a feeling im not used to- since my past two serious relationships were long distance.

He is also a very attractive man, and the other female teachers are very clearly interested, which doesn't exactly bother me. Yesterday myself and another teacher went to his house to meet his dog, and shes made it very clear shes interested, so I even left early to give them alone time if they wanted it. Which felt really good- I like to be able to actively practice my values.

But this issue comes from that my partners in the past have been like 'oh im with Bird so you know..' but I dont know if thats going to be the case here. Its something we clearly have to talk about. But it is so new, and im not trying to overwhelm the poor man.

I guess because we aren't telling people, im afraid that I will be left out. That I won't be known, and because of that, some of my needs will be neglected. Personally, I dont like taking new partners while in NRE with someone, so that I have the proper attention to devote to building and forming the connected, but thats not something I expect from my partner. this is just a strange situation, where I cant be totally myself because work presents a problem.

Thanks for reading !
Me (Bird): 24, F, Heteroflexible, Open-poly, Submissive
Beast: 33, M, Heterosexual, Open-Poly, Current Partner, Dom, LDR
Coach: 33, M, Heterosexual, Open-Poly, Current Partner, Dom
Lion: 26, M, Ex- partner, Heteroflexible, Open-Parellel Poly, LDR
Sir: 32, M, Ex- Partner/Dom, Heterosexual, LDR
Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2018, 11:51 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 16,271

Hi Bird,

I wonder if the signs are telling you to let some of your feelings show around coworkers. Even if it's just a little, a hug for instance. To completely bury all that NRE, that can be hard to take. And like you said, it makes you worried that you'll be left out. Is there a policy at work that you cannot get involved with a coworker? Would your supervisor/s have a problem with that if they knew? If not, then you might want to list the pros and cons, and see which is more worth it.

Just some thoughts,
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 11:00 PM.