the priest and the young libertarian woman

roman

New member
Hi all,

I'm in the research/first draft phase for a novel I'm currently writing. A crucial part of it is the genuine, authentic meeting between an Italian Jesuit priest and a young woman with African roots, raised and living in the city of London.
The two of them meet while she is travelling alone through Italy (she is hitch-hiking and due to extreme weather conditions he cannot do otherwise but let her into his car). Because of a cascade of events they spend the next couple of days together.
His religious orientation taken in consideration, he is an open minded guy capable of non-judgemental conversation with people of all walks of life. She's a bright and spontaneous gal and shares a loose definition of 'relationship' with her boyfriend.

The reason why I joined the forum is that I thought it a good place to base her libertarian views on love, sex, and relationship from bits and pieces of conversations I find here.
I will never use these bits and pieces themselves (and if I would want to do so, I would ask permision in advance). Also, there's the slightest possibility that amongst the female members on this forum there's someone whose personalitityresembles the character of the book, willing to communicate with me directly (through the forum), thereby giving me the opportunity of first-hand insight.

As my mother-tongue isn't English, and my topics and style of writing are considered difficult, the book will probably not get published, but issued on a print-on-demand basis, in the Dutch language only (although I'm toying with the idea of writing it simulatneously in English as wel).

So any thoughts, tips, idea's, suggestions are welcome.

Looking forward to get to know you,
Roman.
 
Last edited:
I'm not much of an expert at bookmaking, but based on the type of insight you are seeking for your libertarian woman, I would say immerse yourself well in this forum. I suppose relationship perspective is what you'll be using the most, and so, the Poly Relationships Corner would be the board you'd want to explore the most.

You'll find that there's a wide range of contrasting opinions here, in spite of everyone having in common an interest (and usually participation as well) in polyamory. People also have quite a range of styles of how they (would like to and/or do) practice polyamory in their lives. So essentially you'll want to choose which "shade of poly" you want to paint your female protagonist. There's a lot to choose from.

If you have any questions along the way feel free to post; also you can do searches (including tag searches and advanced searches) for key words and the like.

Good luck in your endeavor.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Roman,

You might find threads discussing relationship anarchy of interest. Search for threads tagged with 'anarchy', 'relationship anarchy' and 'RA'. Libertarianism and anarchism are not the same at all but in the context of relationships might be odd bedfellows.

And, at least in the US (and I realize your characters are not from the United States), libertarian has a very particular political bent, followers of Ayn Rand and such. I am quite libertarian in my views on sexuality and laws regarding sexuality (I believe that little is off the table for consenting adults and that laws about sexuality should be few and focused) but would not consider myself a libertarian at all. You may need to broaden your descriptive focus - but this is based solely on the unfortunately rather nutjob libertarian movement here in the US.
 
Hadn't thought of that; good point.
 
Morning folks,


Yes ... words and meanings ... language and cultural differences ... I do indeed intend her to be a libertine instead of a libertarian.

The anarchy hint might prove to be handy as well. She might have sympathy for that. But then again anarchists and priest usualy don't mix that well.

But I will explore the shades of poly - albeit in a virtual way - thanks for answering and for pointing me out the ways to go!

Greets,
Roman
 
No prob ...

By the way, don't be too quick to discard the relationship anarchy idea. Sure that might make it more challenging for the priest to relate to the libertine lady, but isn't it friction and challenge that helps make for an interesting story line? Perhaps the lady and the priest will learn a lot from each other and both come to new perspectives about things. That in fact is probably a lot of what you'd be shooting for as an author. Give it some thought at least. Learn what you can about relationship anarchy -- after all, even if this lady isn't a relationship anarchist herself, she's likely to at least be aware of what it is. And raising the concept may give the reader more meat to chew on.

Some thoughts anywayz,
Kevin T.
 
I'm a (little L) libertarian - but NOT a Randite.

(I might also be a libertine - but I don't really know what that means - i do have moral constraints - but they are of my own choosing...)

I agree that "relationship anarchy" might be a good place to focus your research...(I probably AM a relationship anarchist...but likely would not adopt that label)
 
Yes indeed, the anarchist thread is thin but very usefull. Makes her an interesting character, which at the same time forms a potent juxtaposition with the openminded priest. I'll check your blogposts Jane and see what tressures i'm able to dig up there. Thanks!
 
More RA info, taken from http://polyamoryonline.org/smf/index.php?topic=4321.msg44316#msg44316 ...

RA = Relation Anarch, Relation Anarchist, Relation Anarchy, Relationship Anarchy, or unlimited relations. RA is a form of polyamory in which relationships are not formally defined, so that one is not expected to behave strictly as a "friend," a "spouse," a "lover," a "partner," or what have you, in the company of any one (or more) other person (or persons). Many relationship anarchists simply call everyone they know "friend." This freedom from RD (Relationship Definitionism) enables several parallel relations that can each be friendly, sensual, and sexual. As with other forms of polyamory, RA depends on the acceptance of all persons involved.
RA principles:
  • You can love many, and each relationship is unique.
  • Love and Respect is to have no demands (no templates).
  • Give yourself a solid point of view (no exemptions).
  • Remember the heterosexual norm but don't be afraid.
  • Spontaneity instead of duty.
  • Fake it til you make it.
  • Trust instead of suspicion.
  • Change through communication.
On-site threads:
Off-site references:
With finpoly being perhaps the best of the above.

Hope that helps.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Thanks KDT for your post.

Offcourse a writer choosing a poly-type character in a story just might indicate that the writer himself has interests in that matter (grin), so some of the RA principles do ring home with me. Others, I'm puzzled by and need some research.

So far I've spent my time here reading the "historical" part of JaneQSmythe's lifestory, which I find (apart from being personally intrigued) to have very usefull bits and peaces to mold my character around.

I guess an update of my introduction is at place, to include my personal interest, complex feelings, and relationship-situation towards polyamory. This not only to clarify any (semi) subconcious issues and so doing, enrich my conscious life, but also to give even more body to this character, since writing and living for me are strongly interweaved.
 
I checked out your new intro thread post and responded to it there. It seems you probably have quite a little bit of reading ahead of you and I hope I don't overwhelm with all my suggestions, but there's some pretty important stuff out there for anyone both writing a book about poly, and preparing to live a poly and/or poly-aware life as well.

First, another book recommendation ...

"Sex at Dawn: how we mate, why we stray, and what it means for modern relationships," by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá.

It's important food for thought, and I'm thinking that the libertine woman in your book will be likely to have read the book herself.

I think you do well to read JaneQSmythe's writings, and, I recommend delving into even more people's journalings in the Life stories and blogs board. Given this thread and your intro thread, I also recommend starting your own blog and journaling your own thoughts, experiences, and feelings. Exploring your own life in that way not only helps you directly, it also enriches the mind-broth in which the meat (and vegetables :)) of your pending novel can simmer.

Lots and lots to learn and consider.
Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Back
Top