Yes, Im a guys guy he is not. Im a take charge guy , he is a wait and see guy. Im a protector he is the one that gets protected. We are very different.
This is true-you are a take charge, protective guys guy. GG is a wait and see guy that all the girls are comfortable hanging out with and confiding in and we do all tend to be protective of him, because he's really really good at being our FRIEND.
BUT-you are both interested in the same types of music,
enjoy the same types of movies,
like to drink the same types of beer,
hang out around the campfire,
play a game of pool (you tend towards being more competitive, but you both enjoy the break),
dancing (not together obviously haha),
you are both fiercely devoted to the love of your life (me) though you show it different ways,
you both are fiercely devoted to your children (again, you show it different ways),
you both feel that it's your job to provide for the family,
you both are emotional men who don't see any weakness in giving another man you care deeply for a hug and even a kiss on the cheek,
you both have a great respect for the same people,
you both believe in God,
you both feel unsure of yourselves often,
you both doubt your worthiness in relationships often,
you both are distrustful of others with your own self,
you both have ONE other person besides me that you TRULY trust with yourself (you trust your father, GG trusts whatever the fuck he nicknamed his other best friend)
you both get along famously with my sister, finishing sentences and laughing and loving her with abandon,
you both are held back by fear of the unknown
you both are held back by fear of failure
you both are struggling to improve not so great communication skills
you both are trying to find the answer to this problem and then giving up over and over again because you are afraid the other one isn't trying
you both love me
I love both of you
Our kids love both of you
and you are both breaking my heart and the kids hearts because you keep panicking and running from this family instead of grasping hold with both hands and holding on for dear life when the panick hits....
which is something YOU taught me Maca....
I have to addmit that I do feel a competitive streak in regards to LR's attention. For 10 1/2 years I thought I had her full attention and in the last 7 months I have had to learn how to share it.
You have made admirable strides in this. Just remember, just because you thought you had my full attention and you thought it was your right, doesn't mean it was. It was never fair for ALL of my attention to be on you and even when you chose to pretend it was, it wasn't anyway. EVEN in a mono relationship-each partners attention isn't always on each other. We have 4 children together and I have Z as well. Then there is my little sister, Em and GG. There are others who have earned the right to my attention.
ALSO-they have earned the right for YOUR attention AND you have earned the right to THEIR attention. If you just open your heart-like you did with Blaidwyns wife (can't remember her login to save my life) you will find that there is PLENTY of attention for us all to share and keep ourselves so busy you'll never have to feel as though you are missing out! xo
The biggest thing holding me back is fear.
Always has been. Generally speaking that's true for most people I would guess. But that doesn't mean you have to let it win.
LR and he hurt me more than anyone else ever has( with the affair) I loved LR then and I love her now so I have forgave her and I have let her back in close to my heart( knowing full well that she could hurt me again) I did not and do not "love" GG so letting him in close to my heart by forming a friendship more then just "buddies" scares the shit out of me and Im ( as I stated above) a protector. I even protect myself.
Love isn't the major difference. Even if you don't love someone you can choose to forgive them. BUT you ALWAYS have to choose to, even if you do love someone. FEAR is what is holding you back. FEAR of what people will think of you. FEAR that you will look weak, like less of a man.
IF we are ever going to REALLY set sail in this beautiful boat (to borrow from Kat's analogy) we're going to have to be REAL with each other. You BOTH need to be REAL with each other-not just with me in hidden moments. Do you gotta measure cock size etc? HELL NO. But you do need to be honest and upfront and open about what it is that is holding you back in this relationship.
In pieces of your posts on here you both were, and then there are spots like this-where you both did not.
The truth is that it's scary to contemplate having an alternative relationship and even if GG and I hadn't had an affair-there would still be fear of what people would think about you "letting your wife fuck another man". The truth is that most won't give a damn-cause they don't REALLY give a damn about you.
Others will be offended because their minds are too small and shallow to handle such a complicated idea as compersion is.
OTHERS will think "huh" and move on curiously.
The ones who REALLY matter have already told YOU that they love you-PERIOD.
So there is no reason for YOU to fear people thinking you are weak. You are NOT weak. You are very strong-somtimes TOO strong. But you are sure as hell not weak. Kinky-yes, weak, NO.