Longevity of relationships

Uknow

New member
Long lasting...?

I would like to know if there is any couples who has had a closed group of partners that's lasted for years? Wether the group be 4,6 or more ppl..
 
I would like to know if there is any couples who has had a closed group of partners that's lasted for years? Wether the group be 4,6 or more ppl..
"Couples" don't really have situations like this. Individuals do. Poly is generally not couplecentric.

It seems to me that the first thing to do is to work on not thinking of relationships from the stand point of us (the couple) and them. It just doesn't really work like that I have found. Poly is not co-dependent its about autonomy, even if you have a partner that you share kids, house, car, assets with. Love doesn't understand all that.... Maybe your questions should be rephrased? Just a thought.
 
How would I go about this question.. Is there any closed group of about 4,6 people that stayed together? If so how long?
 
How would I go about this question.. Is there any closed group of about 4,6 people that stayed together? If so how long?
sounds good to me, and yes there are many... their situations might not be what one would think as poly relationships tend to create a good deal of autonomy. The definitions of a "closed group" can be as varied as poly relationships themselves.

I live in an emotional triad with three and have a girlfriend outside of that also... we are four in a round about way... or five, if you include her husband. We are committed to each other in various ways and have been for about three years as is. The rest is a matter of each person and how we all fit together.
 
Has it been the 3 of you for the 3 years solid? Or all 4 of you has been solid for 3 years? Thanks for helping me figure this out btw:)
 
I'm unclear as to what you are trying to figure out. Could you explain what it is behind this that makes you interested in knowing? If you read around here long enough you will see that there are many configurations in poly relationship dynamics.

All four of us for about three years. We are not all partnered but metamour relationships I find are just as important. Often there is no less support and caring. To me poly is about creating relationships of care and support. The rest is icing. I have a lot of icing :D I'm very fortunate.
 
True or False: Open relationship + happily married long-term = extremely rare.

I posted a question concerning open relationships at another forum and this was one of the answers I received. I'm curious to get alternate opinions. Thanks!
 
You also have to consider the answer to

True or False: CLOSED relationship + happily married long-term = extremely rare.

I formed my relationship wants/needs in reaction largely to what I saw in the unhappy and broken marriages in my family and their friends.

Anyway, the plural of anecdote is not data. What is it you're really trying to find out?
 
I guess it depends on what you mean by extremely. It's not the norm, obviously. But there's no way to get real numbers, because people are so closeted.

Dan Savage suggests that successful open marriages are much more common than people think and filled a column with anecdotes to prove his point -- http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=11412386 -- and this great article from The Advocate expands on the topic with some very interesting research and more anecdotes -- http://www.advocate.com/Print_Issue/Features/Monogamish/

My gf and her husband have been together for 10+ years and married for, I think, 4, and they have one of the strongest marriages I've seen (now, wasn't always).

So, I'd say false, but again it depends on how you slice it.
 
I've been with my wife for 5 years, closed marriage. She's been unhappy.

We opened our marriage earlier this year. She's finally talking to me and it feels like we are making progress in our marriage. She's still unhappy but it's all very new.

You decide.

Ironically I brought up polyamory originally. She was the one that suggested it again earlier this year.
 
I posted a question concerning open relationships at another forum and this was one of the answers I received. I'm curious to get alternate opinions. Thanks!
How can we give opinions when we don't know what the question was? You only gave us one of the answers you got.

BTW, I think that, in general, blanket statements based on assumptions or limited observations suck.
 
I think a lot of people get caught up in what "successful" means when they ask these kind of questions. If you mean happy as in long term, glued at the hip, closed in a triad or quad, all of which seems to be the "poly dream" for those starting out (at least in these here parts), then yes, extremely rare. Some people really feel successful and happy in solo poly relatuonships where they have loving and spritual connecting moments in one night stands or with their friends (where everything is consentual amongst many). Its all subjective and the vagueness is awesome I think. Love poly vagueness when it comes to success. Love that nothing is pinned down. "Happiness" is accomplished by individuals deciding to be so anyway in my opnion anyway.
 
To expand, my original question was whether it was possible to be with the same person sexually for a lifetime and not get bored. I also mentioned that I was interested in an open relationship, but my fiance was not. Here are some of the other replies I received:

"U R NOT ready for marriage -- U still have lust issues. An "open" marriage" is for immature people who are easily bored out of immaturity."

"open relationships are for people who are over-sexed (beyond the normal high sex drive of healthy people). Open relationship + happily married long-term = extremely rare."

"Entering a marriage thinking its gonna be boring & you should see other people means youre not ready to commit to your fiance"

"People have stayed in jobs their whole life despite the boredom. If you told your boss that you want an open work relationship how do you think he/she would take that?"

"Your fiance needs to get out of this relationship ASAP."

"Thinking that sex with the same person for the rest of your life is boring is immature."

"If you all think fcking other people is fine that's your choice, but its pretty sad that you think this is normal or acceptable"

"It is sad you are already interested in having an 'open sexual relationship' when you are not even married yet."

"If you are wanting an open relationship, and aren't even married yet, that means you aren't ready for marriage. Marriage is about monogamy."
 
To expand, my original question was whether it was possible to be with the same person sexually for a lifetime and not get bored. I also mentioned that I was interested in an open relationship, but my fiance was not. Here are some of the other replies I received:

Just curious... where did you post this?

Many of those answers sound like conservative opinions. I would have answered that way... about 20 years ago. ---Doesn't mean I was right then... doesn't mean I was wrong then... I was just different.

In 20 years... maybe those folk will change their opinions also.
 
Just curious... where did you post this?

Many of those answers sound like conservative opinions. I would have answered that way... about 20 years ago. ---Doesn't mean I was right then... doesn't mean I was wrong then... I was just different.

In 20 years... maybe those folk will change their opinions also.

Yahoo Answers. I've learned recently that 95% of the people on YA are conservative Christians.

EDIT: Then I found this place about 3 hours ago :)
 
It might be rare, but as some people mention, it will depend on your definition of "happily" married. Every relationship is different - I've found that I've had a much easier time enjoying my relationships for what they are in the moment as they develop rather than holding each person up to a marriageability measuring stick and deciding how/weather to proceed based on those results. My relationships are "happier" with this mindset, though I'm less worried about the "married" part.
 
"People have stayed in jobs their whole life despite the boredom. If you told your boss that you want an open work relationship how do you think he/she would take that?"

Um, that's called having multiple jobs. Lots and lots of people do that and their bosses are fine with it as long as it doesn't affect their work performance. This is by no means a perfect analogy, but if anything it speaks in favor of the possibility of having one main, primary relationship (full time job) and one or more casual flings or secondary relationships (consulting gigs or part-time weekend jobs). Geez, these people can't even insult a concept cogently.
 
I would probably say it's not extremely rare but rare so True. But I think the same is true for any model of relationships. Relationships are hard. Long-term success at any thing hard is rather rare.
 
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