My husband and I opened our marriage about 5.5 years ago. Currently, I've been seeing a guy regularly for 8 months and he has been seeing a woman for about 3 months. We each also sometimes have additional partners.
For the last few months, my husband and I have had less and less sex. I have tried to initiate many times, but he is rarely interested. He has admitted that he has trouble being interested in sex with me, even though he has no trouble with his girlfriend. He also told me about a month and a half ago that he believes the way I kiss has changed (it hasn't, according to other people who have been kissing me for awhile) and he no longer likes the way I kiss. I continue to want to do things like set aside time to reconnect after dates, but he has no interest in doing so. He has always been emotionally distant, but has become increasingly so.
These issues are making me feel like our relationship is less primary, although he disagrees. I have always wanted to have a hierarchical relationship, and he verbally agrees, but his emotional and physical distance conflict with his words.
We have two children still at home, age 17 (knows we are poly) and 10 (does not know we are poly, and neither of us wants to come out to her yet for a variety of reasons).
I was wondering if anyone here has experienced something similar. Rationally, I think the best answer might be for me to try to withdraw a bit emotionally, get used to the increased separation, and try to accept that we are no longer primary and are in more of a roommates-for-the-kids'-sake situation.
The problem is that that is not what I want, so I am struggling with the idea of separation emotionally. Has anyone been in this position?
For the last few months, my husband and I have had less and less sex. I have tried to initiate many times, but he is rarely interested. He has admitted that he has trouble being interested in sex with me, even though he has no trouble with his girlfriend. He also told me about a month and a half ago that he believes the way I kiss has changed (it hasn't, according to other people who have been kissing me for awhile) and he no longer likes the way I kiss. I continue to want to do things like set aside time to reconnect after dates, but he has no interest in doing so. He has always been emotionally distant, but has become increasingly so.
These issues are making me feel like our relationship is less primary, although he disagrees. I have always wanted to have a hierarchical relationship, and he verbally agrees, but his emotional and physical distance conflict with his words.
We have two children still at home, age 17 (knows we are poly) and 10 (does not know we are poly, and neither of us wants to come out to her yet for a variety of reasons).
I was wondering if anyone here has experienced something similar. Rationally, I think the best answer might be for me to try to withdraw a bit emotionally, get used to the increased separation, and try to accept that we are no longer primary and are in more of a roommates-for-the-kids'-sake situation.
The problem is that that is not what I want, so I am struggling with the idea of separation emotionally. Has anyone been in this position?