So I posted this on a different forum that was just about sex and relationships and not a lot of people knew about poly relationships. I found this forum and would love some replies here. Here was my post over there.
So my wife and I have had a lot of experience playing with other girls etc. she and I have talked about having a girlfriend before but now that we are married she has kind of changed her mind about it. She still hints at wanting to be close to another girl and I've noticed her crushing on a few girls. She keeps pushing away these feelings because of the way she was raised (mormon family) and I don't know how to bring the topic up without her thinking I'm being a perv or something.
We were getting really close to a friend of mine from highschool and we had a threesome with her and my wife and her were starting to get really close, but my friend was nervous about acting on her feelings because she's never dated a girl or a couple before and so she and I were talking about her feelings and the possibility of us all dating. My wife found some texts and didn't read the whole conversation and took things out of context and missunderstood the convo. It's a touchy subject and she has avoided it ever since. I've been giving her time to cool about it and would like to be able to talk with her further about it, but don't know how to bring it up. Anyone have any experience in these sort of matters?
Ok to clear some things up
My wife knows that my friend and I text and she's often seen her text me and texted her at the same time, my friend texts back and forth with my wife frequently too. We all text each other. The communication is there, but the details of polyamory hadn't been entirely discussed. My friend and I got more in depth about the topic one day when we were texting while my wife was at work. The time that my wife saw a few texts on my phone I had said to her that I was excited to try all of us dating. I had expressed the day before to my wife that I wanted to go to dinner with both of them and she had agreed to it, but my friend wasn't able to make it so my wife and I ended up just going out. Later when talking with my friend about the raincheck and that was the part of the conversation that she saw parts of and got upset. We have since made up and everything is ok. The only issue is my wife and friend aren't currently talking. My friend has been making attempts to talk with her, texting her saying hi and that she really likes her and wants to talk with her and hang out still.
Obviously everything didn't happen in the order that I would have liked it to. I kind of mentioned to my wife today about talking to the friend and she still seemed pretty sore about it, but it didn't cause a fight so I think she's getting over it. It's prob just gonna take some more time. I hope it all works out because I know they both really liked each other and I could tell my wife was crushing on her before, they were non stop texting for a bit, so it's just hard. I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells bringing up anything relating to something outside the box of the mormon ideals of husband and wife etc. I know my wife agrees with homosexual relationships and bisexuality etc. it's just hard because she still has that nagging of how she was raised in the back of her head.
Also as far as the threesome thing is concerned my wife and I have had quite a few threesomes since getting married. They have never caused any issues. Only issue we ever had with a threesome was with a girl that we were getting really close with and fucking quite frequently, she ended up getting involved with a bad crowd and some problems came up at a party and she ended up acting like an idiot and crashed my wife's car and ya long story short the girl was bad news but was the only real girl my wife had ever had any sort of relationship with that she had slept with. It hurt her pretty bad and made it hard to play with any other girls for a while. However that was a few years ago and she's far over it.
So my wife and I have had a lot of experience playing with other girls etc. she and I have talked about having a girlfriend before but now that we are married she has kind of changed her mind about it. She still hints at wanting to be close to another girl and I've noticed her crushing on a few girls. She keeps pushing away these feelings because of the way she was raised (mormon family) and I don't know how to bring the topic up without her thinking I'm being a perv or something.
We were getting really close to a friend of mine from highschool and we had a threesome with her and my wife and her were starting to get really close, but my friend was nervous about acting on her feelings because she's never dated a girl or a couple before and so she and I were talking about her feelings and the possibility of us all dating. My wife found some texts and didn't read the whole conversation and took things out of context and missunderstood the convo. It's a touchy subject and she has avoided it ever since. I've been giving her time to cool about it and would like to be able to talk with her further about it, but don't know how to bring it up. Anyone have any experience in these sort of matters?
Ok to clear some things up
My wife knows that my friend and I text and she's often seen her text me and texted her at the same time, my friend texts back and forth with my wife frequently too. We all text each other. The communication is there, but the details of polyamory hadn't been entirely discussed. My friend and I got more in depth about the topic one day when we were texting while my wife was at work. The time that my wife saw a few texts on my phone I had said to her that I was excited to try all of us dating. I had expressed the day before to my wife that I wanted to go to dinner with both of them and she had agreed to it, but my friend wasn't able to make it so my wife and I ended up just going out. Later when talking with my friend about the raincheck and that was the part of the conversation that she saw parts of and got upset. We have since made up and everything is ok. The only issue is my wife and friend aren't currently talking. My friend has been making attempts to talk with her, texting her saying hi and that she really likes her and wants to talk with her and hang out still.
Obviously everything didn't happen in the order that I would have liked it to. I kind of mentioned to my wife today about talking to the friend and she still seemed pretty sore about it, but it didn't cause a fight so I think she's getting over it. It's prob just gonna take some more time. I hope it all works out because I know they both really liked each other and I could tell my wife was crushing on her before, they were non stop texting for a bit, so it's just hard. I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells bringing up anything relating to something outside the box of the mormon ideals of husband and wife etc. I know my wife agrees with homosexual relationships and bisexuality etc. it's just hard because she still has that nagging of how she was raised in the back of her head.
Also as far as the threesome thing is concerned my wife and I have had quite a few threesomes since getting married. They have never caused any issues. Only issue we ever had with a threesome was with a girl that we were getting really close with and fucking quite frequently, she ended up getting involved with a bad crowd and some problems came up at a party and she ended up acting like an idiot and crashed my wife's car and ya long story short the girl was bad news but was the only real girl my wife had ever had any sort of relationship with that she had slept with. It hurt her pretty bad and made it hard to play with any other girls for a while. However that was a few years ago and she's far over it.