Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

I've spent the whole week with my girlfriend, after not seeing each other for a month (except via skype). I'm on a holiday and spending time at her place. She is working, so we only have the evenings to spend together, but I'm totally loving this. I certainly enjoy intense time together in a bubble where nobody else exists. But I enjoy this even more: sharing the everyday life. Grocery shopping and cooking together, sharing thoughts and events from each day, waking up next to each other. Lovely. :) Some people may want dating and romance first, I want someone to share my life with, right away. :eek: We've talked about a lot of stuff, also of some fears both of us have. It's all been going so close to perfect for all four of us thus far; I guess it's hard to believe there wont be a bomb dropping at some point. :D

For me, a big thing this week has been talking with my husband on skype (I have time when gf is at work, and he's had time as well). It's not necessary; I've visited friends and usually had little contact with him during that time. But that's the excact difference in attitude I am taking, and it shows a concrete shift in my thought processes. I'm not just visiting somebody (and putting my everyday life on hold), but rather when I am here I am living here and this is my life, just as much as the time I spend with my husband is my life. And they are both a part of my life all the time, therefore I want to have some contact with each when I am with the other. You get it? :)
 
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Living it

This evening I enjoyed some quality time with LB, as RP and PN went to see a movie. I love it when they get out for a date, as opposed to doing laundry together! LOL I need to feel that there is balance in all our lives and that PN is being taken care of, as his happiness is a springboard for my own. It is interesting how the full appreciation of my relationship with RP is so heavily dependent on the healthy relationship she has with PN. This is one of the keys to our sustained healthiness and happiness.

Luckily, things have fallen in place for her and Derby to get a date in this week, and she and Leo are also in a better place. Things are pretty good in our little world. :)
 
This evening I enjoyed some quality time with LB tonight as RP and PN went to see a movie. I love it when they get out for a date as opposed to doing laundry together LOL! I need to feel that there is balance in all our lives and that PN is being taken care of as his happiness is a springboard for my own. It is interesting how the full appreciation of my relationship with RP is so heavily dependant on the healthy relationship she has with PN. This is one of the keys to our sustained healthiness and happiness. Luckily things have fallen in place for her and Derby to get a date in this week and her and Leo are also in a better place. Things are pretty good in our little world :)

We saw them at the movie :)
 
I think it might be more a case of small city syndrome, we only have one good theater here! :D But yes indeed it is a small poly world too.
 
Day to day smiles

Happiness is having our back doors wide open, with music playing from artists RP and I saw yesterday so PN can hear it, while helping LB to fill up his new pool, and then watching him wander in and out of my place, as I wash my bike. The backyard is a very communal and very cool!
 
Checking in with Metamours

Sometimes things can be rolling along so smoothly that I forget to check in with PN about how he is doing. One of the values of this forum is how it can remind me to do things that seem almost unnecessary now. Redpepper's husband and I were hanhing out after work, waiting for RP and LB to get home. So we chatted about the forum and relationships for a bit. It gave me a good opportunity to naturally check in with how he is doing. I asked him in simple terms if things were as good between us as they seem, and if he was struggling with parts of my relationship with RP. He was unhesitant to say "absolutely not," and we carried on with our business.

We used to have formal sit-downs/coffees to check in, but have moved passed that.

On a different note, we were dropping my truck off to a friend (a love of PN's) and one of his roommates asked if we were brothers. This is not the first time this assumption has been made and I think it speaks volumes about the energy we have as friends.

Life is good. :)
 
After The 'Relationship'

Having yet another wonderful, long talk with Ariakas this morning made me want to share in the awesomeness of when standard 'relationships' end, and a true friendship emerges.

We love each other, as much now as ever. No nay-sayers on his side are going to convince him otherwise. No nay-sayers on my side are going to convince me otherwise.

We know we are not designed to be in a poly relationship with each other, but the fact that we loved each other enough to know that is amazing. We share all of our goings-on and feelings, we laugh, we want the best for each other. Even if that 'it' is not each other, it is a really empowering feeling, empowering for each other in a selfless way.

We can be sad about what's not to be, we can mourn a loss, and we can move on and forward in the directions each of us needs to go.

Ariakas, my dear, I think you are right. We`ll always be in each other's lives, in one form or another.

THAT is the vignette of being open or poly. Letting relationships shift, and morph, and change into what they need to be. For us it's a very deep friendship. Others don`t get it, and well... we don`t care. :p

Thanks for being such a hardworking friend. :) Your efforts don`t go unnoticed. I am grateful for all you do. :)
 
My love for you will never die. Our love will never die.

I enjoy what the future will bring for us. I look forward to the friendship continuing and growing. I am saddened by the loss of one side, but the potential of the other excites me too. Like a phoenix rising, I suppose. (This has been an ongoing experience about friendship for me. Poly has been teaching me more about friendship than having friends ever did.)

Thank you, Sourgirl, for the things you have done, even when I know they were difficult. Doing the right thing is rarely the easiest. Someday we will look back at this time and simply smile. This is simply another crossroads for our lives, not an end, or even a start.

I have to agree, this is one of the reason I enjoy openness, regardless of its name. It has allowed me to meet and expand a relationship to one of its potentials. That's a truly beautiful thing.

Nothing great ever comes easily. You rock, Sourgirl. Thank you. :) xo
 
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My love for you will never die. Our love will never die.

I enjoy what the future will bring for us. I look forward to the friendship continuing and growing. I am saddened by the loss of one side, but the potential of the other excites me too. Like a phoenix rising I suppose... (this has been an ongoing experience about friendship for me.. poly has been teaching me more about friendship than having friends ever did)

Thank you Sourgirl for the things you have done, even when I know they were difficult, doing the right thing is rarely the easiest. Someday we will look back at this time and simply smile. This is simply another cross roads for our lives, not an end, or even a start.

I have to agree, this is one of the reason I enjoy openess, regardless of its name. It has allowed me to meet and expand a relationship to one of its potentials. Thats a truly beautiful thing.

Nothing great ever comes easily.. you rock Sourgirl.. thank you :) xo

I'm so happy for both of you; you are truly an inspiration and your love is palpable!
 
Heh, you said cockles.
 
Just got back from watching Transformers with PN and Redpepper :) Another nice night with our beautiful woman in between us ;)
 
We went on Wednesday w/o Wendigo, because he is still recovering from his infection. It felt a bit odd seeing the 3rd movie w/o him, so he and Runic Wolf are going to have a man date to see it when he is better.

Hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. :)
 
We've finally been able to arrange for everybody to meet each other, and had a chance to hang out quite a bit right away. Everybody is getting along well! I'm so happy with the whole situation.. :) I can't believe how easily this whole thing has progressed. Both of the original couples were monogamous for many years, and then sexually open for a time, but I believe none of us seriously considered polyamory until my girlfriend and I met each other (3,5 months ago). But throughout the whole experience, there have been only few moments of discomfort, and fealousy has been non-existent. Moreover, there have been so very many moments of happiness and enjoyment and connectedness, for everyone involved. I truly feel grateful, happy and fulfilled. <3

Some situations that come to mind which I've just LOVED, which are only possible in poly dynamic:
- Walking with everybody hand in hand in hand in hand (wait, how many hands are there? :D)
- My girlfriend and my husband teasing me together about stuff I do in a relationship (like 'stealing' clothes :eek: )
- My girlfriend and husband spontaneously hugging each other when she left the last time; it just fills me with joy that they are already so comfortable with each other!)

I would say I'm living a dream, except I've never even dreamt of these kinds of things. Life certainly can bring you wonderfully unexpected things <3.
 
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