Omitting means:
1 : something neglected, left out, or left undone
2 : the act, fact, or state of leaving something out or failing to do something
It's not a "bad" thing or a "good" thing.
I could omit the curse word from my sentence, that might be a good thing.
I could omit a detail that would confuse a situation, that might also be a good thing.
BUT if you omit something in an attempt to keep information from someone then you start getting into shady ground.
One of the things I read about when I decided to come out poly was about the difference between following rules "to the letter" or following "the heart" of a rule.
A rule is designed for a reason. In the example in this case MG, the reason was to protect something percieved as "sacred" to some degree to Kat. By omitting the fact that the thing to be protected had already been.... "used" (I lack a good word here sorry!)-while it may have been with the best of INTENTIONS-the omission went against the HEART of the rule she was requesting....
When we break the heart of a rule-we lose trust and we lose faith of the person who asked for the rule or expected the rule to be upheld.
The bottom line isn't "was it right" or "was it fair",
the bottom line is does this action (omiting or not omiting information) help myself and/or the other person to be the best that they can be.
GENERALLY speaking-omitting information to keep another from hurting-does NOT help myself or the other person to be the best that we can be.
Hurt is OFTEN the catalyst for growth-so if we keep the hurt from a person-we often are keeping the growth from them as well.
Basically, for me, if I think someone won't like something and think it may make me feel guilty, then I don't do it because that guilt creates an energy that does harm to me and others. I start perseverating on it and it breaks the connection I have with someone. I prefer to have the deepest connections ever. Untampered with and pure. Quick releases are not worth it often. Its better to wait for better opportunities. As nerdist says, "go for great, not good in life."
Exactly (hadn't gotten to this page yet
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It's not about whether or not I'm "breaking a rule" it's about whether or not my actions are promoting me being the best I can be, the other person being the best that they can be (or other people) AND promoting the relationships to be the best that they can be.
FOR EXAMPLE:
There is no rule in MY relationship that says I can't flirt horribly with Mon. BUT Mon has a preference for certain behaviors-and it's OBVIOUS in person that if I were to jump into his arms and kiss all over him-he would be VERY uncomfortable.
THEREFORE-it's not about RULES-it's about making my relationship with Mon the best that IT can be and helpinge each of us be the best that we can be. I can do that better by NOT pushing those limits.
It doesn't MATTER if it would or would not bother RP-not because her feelings don't matter, they do, but there is ALREADY an negativity in the activity before her feelings (or Maca's or GG's are even brought in).
Does that make any sense?
It's really truly about the HEART of the matter. The biggest problem in these situations is that people are thinking about the heart of the matter TO THEM-and forgetting that there are more than two people involved, we need to think of the heart of the matter for EACH person involved, not just our own.