Marcus
Well-known member
You, Marcus, sound like you're a textbook poly person. I'm really happy that it works for you. I, however, am not.
My advice sounds poly-specific to you because you've got that on the brain. I would give the same advice to a monogamous person (like yourself); if you want to have happier relationships, learn to stand on your own two feet. I assure you that two fully functional adults will have a happier and longer lasting relationship than two people who are interdependent and and need someone else to complete them.
This is true in all things, work, friendships, romance, there is an entirely different set of possibilities for someone who is confident and self-sufficient versus someone who is needy and insecure. I am merely suggesting that you work on *you*, since that will be the source of real growth.
There is no such thing as a text book poly person - read around and you will clearly see that most of us disagree on most things.
I do agree with you that it's important to feel comfortable in your own skin. Usually I don't have that problem, but coming up on his third night away is wearing me down.
Such is the nature of growth. You have been presented with a challenge and are trying to get through it. I think you're taking leaps in the right direction, I would just suggest that the focus of your energy centers around improving *you*, and less on what your relationship needs. If you make improvements on one, the other will flourish in kind.