simplyjelly9458
New member
I recently became a part of a polyamorous relationship. There's me, Him, and Her..
He and She have been together for 4 years, and they have a beautiful baby girl who is almost two.
I can quite confidently say that I've fallen in love with Him, and I like and respect Her just fine. She's a goddes, and she's so warm and inviting and always goes out of her way to make me feel included.
I'm moving in with them, I bought a bigger bed for the three of us, He and I are sexually intimate, and occasionally She and I are too.
I have this uncomfortable feeling of insecurity, like I'm less to Him than Her...
I don't have a problem when they kiss, when he makes love to her, or anything like that... But here's the thing.
I know I love him, and I know he loves me... But I also know that there is a chance, one of the three of us might start thinking about marriage... And I don't think he can legally marry both of us.. And honestly, if that time comes, I feel sure that he would pick her because she's the mother of his child and they've been together longer... She and I were talking about it once, and I told her "I know my place and I won't get in your way," and she didn't dispute it...
And I know I want children one day, and He wants more kids... She is done having children, and He has made it clear he wants to have two or so kids with me in a few years... Of course, I love that idea, but I don't know how She would feel about it...
And sometimes she does little things that trigger my insecurities... Like he asked her a yes or no question the other night, and she said "of course, husband," and I don't feel like I could say something like that...
Or when she was talking about her dream house to him, she said "we're going to be that couple that____,• and I wonder if she's including me in that future she's painting...
I just sometimes feel like I'm less, even though they always try to include me... I worry that She feels that I'm temporary or that He will always value her more than me, no matter how much time passes or if/when we have kids... (Don't worry, I wouldn't try to have kids with him for the purpose of increasing my value to him or anything.)
I don't think She says or does anything with the intent to "remind me of my place," but I can't help but to feel a wall sometimes... Even though she always tries to include me.
I don't know what to do with these feelings. I'm afraid to voice them.
My mother says their core relationship will always be stronger than mine and his...
He and She have been together for 4 years, and they have a beautiful baby girl who is almost two.
I can quite confidently say that I've fallen in love with Him, and I like and respect Her just fine. She's a goddes, and she's so warm and inviting and always goes out of her way to make me feel included.
I'm moving in with them, I bought a bigger bed for the three of us, He and I are sexually intimate, and occasionally She and I are too.
I have this uncomfortable feeling of insecurity, like I'm less to Him than Her...
I don't have a problem when they kiss, when he makes love to her, or anything like that... But here's the thing.
I know I love him, and I know he loves me... But I also know that there is a chance, one of the three of us might start thinking about marriage... And I don't think he can legally marry both of us.. And honestly, if that time comes, I feel sure that he would pick her because she's the mother of his child and they've been together longer... She and I were talking about it once, and I told her "I know my place and I won't get in your way," and she didn't dispute it...
And I know I want children one day, and He wants more kids... She is done having children, and He has made it clear he wants to have two or so kids with me in a few years... Of course, I love that idea, but I don't know how She would feel about it...
And sometimes she does little things that trigger my insecurities... Like he asked her a yes or no question the other night, and she said "of course, husband," and I don't feel like I could say something like that...
Or when she was talking about her dream house to him, she said "we're going to be that couple that____,• and I wonder if she's including me in that future she's painting...
I just sometimes feel like I'm less, even though they always try to include me... I worry that She feels that I'm temporary or that He will always value her more than me, no matter how much time passes or if/when we have kids... (Don't worry, I wouldn't try to have kids with him for the purpose of increasing my value to him or anything.)
I don't think She says or does anything with the intent to "remind me of my place," but I can't help but to feel a wall sometimes... Even though she always tries to include me.
I don't know what to do with these feelings. I'm afraid to voice them.
My mother says their core relationship will always be stronger than mine and his...