nycindie
Active member
I think that fetlife works best if you're prepared to become part of a real life community (for poly, swingers, or especially BDSM) and go out and get to know people...it's a good online interface to talk to people you know face to face, and to arrange to meet up at events, and to know where the parties and activities are going on.
Now if you find the real world outside of your front door to be scary, and you're just hoping to talk one human being at a time (especially women) into meeting with you and hopefully dating or having sex with you...again, more like dating sites...then I don't think fetlife is designed to make that easy.
I would like to become part of a community, but by meeting one person at a time. Let them introduce me to their friends.
The thing I don't like about the idea of trying to meet poly people via Fetlife is that, by the fact that polyamory is in their list of fetishes, it's promoting the view that polyamory as a kink. I object to that. And it would be highly unlikely that the majority of people on Fetlife in my city who are into or accepting of polyamory would be mostly non-kinky except for poly. What is more likely is that, if I ever figured out how to meet someone to whom I am attracted through Fetlife, I'd wind up disappointed when I find out they're into some kind of fetish that I find disturbing -- and that would kill off any attraction I felt for them in the first place.
One of the reasons I stopped going to Poly Cocktails is that it became evident that OpenLoveNY was promoting the event on FetLife, thereby making it a kink crossover group and not very welcoming to non-kinky people (don't call me vanilla, please). The conversations that people who'd heard about Poly Cocktails through announcements on Fetlife started with me were wildly inappropriate and offensive, because they assumed incorrectly that they were at a kink event.
In general, if one is not into the kink scene, I wouldn't recommend FetLife as a site for meeting polyfolk.
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