Bunnielight
Member
*Im sorry about the novel but I'm in a fucking crisis right now and I have no idea what to do.*
So my husband and I have been struggling financially and needing new jobs. I have a job, but it's a shit job leading nowhere and I'm miserable. I've discovered the direction I want to go in and I've been pouring everything I have into making that happen. I've filled out 3 applications, sent out countless emails, and I'm rebuilding my resume to send to about 5 places.
My husband also needs a job and he hasn't worked in about 3 years. After several weeks of him flipping out over needing a job, he finally has a somewhat better attitude about it, but he's still resorting to small things (I.e. Buying and reselling stuff from flea markets).
He and I ended up in a huge fight last night because I told him that was okay, but we really need to focus on getting something reliable and regular. But he ended up turning the conversation into saying 1.) I'm unsupportive. 2.) that all the stress is on him and 3.) I've "done nothing but look for volunteer work" (I've looked 3 places a week ago on top of all the stuff listed above this week, right next to him).
Then he lied to me when I tried to clarify how many applications he's filled out. He said none, and 3 minutes later said he's filled out 3. Saying it was "just a white lie" and he was "trying to make a point." At that point I completely lost my mind. Because it was all my fault AND he can't even tell me the truth without needing to prove a point with a lie. But I'm the one with a problem...
After that I lost my mind and needed to get away and he would not let me leave. He started chasing me around our house and trapping me. Jumped on the back of my car, tried to pick the lock to our guest room. I almost climbed out the window just so I could get away like I needed to.
Meanwhile, in the midst of looking for jobs, he's looking at photography jobs and talking about using MY portfolio to apply.
On top of that, there's a whole nother scenario that I won't detail where he's communicating two different things to my meta and I that I didn't realise until today and he's giving me the "so I'm not mad at you for (spilling my beans). I love you and I don't want to fight."
I just don't know what to feel anymore. I'm panicking because he's been super nice and lovey today and I know what he's doing. I don't even know where to begin but I'm so numb.
So my husband and I have been struggling financially and needing new jobs. I have a job, but it's a shit job leading nowhere and I'm miserable. I've discovered the direction I want to go in and I've been pouring everything I have into making that happen. I've filled out 3 applications, sent out countless emails, and I'm rebuilding my resume to send to about 5 places.
My husband also needs a job and he hasn't worked in about 3 years. After several weeks of him flipping out over needing a job, he finally has a somewhat better attitude about it, but he's still resorting to small things (I.e. Buying and reselling stuff from flea markets).
He and I ended up in a huge fight last night because I told him that was okay, but we really need to focus on getting something reliable and regular. But he ended up turning the conversation into saying 1.) I'm unsupportive. 2.) that all the stress is on him and 3.) I've "done nothing but look for volunteer work" (I've looked 3 places a week ago on top of all the stuff listed above this week, right next to him).
Then he lied to me when I tried to clarify how many applications he's filled out. He said none, and 3 minutes later said he's filled out 3. Saying it was "just a white lie" and he was "trying to make a point." At that point I completely lost my mind. Because it was all my fault AND he can't even tell me the truth without needing to prove a point with a lie. But I'm the one with a problem...
After that I lost my mind and needed to get away and he would not let me leave. He started chasing me around our house and trapping me. Jumped on the back of my car, tried to pick the lock to our guest room. I almost climbed out the window just so I could get away like I needed to.
Meanwhile, in the midst of looking for jobs, he's looking at photography jobs and talking about using MY portfolio to apply.
On top of that, there's a whole nother scenario that I won't detail where he's communicating two different things to my meta and I that I didn't realise until today and he's giving me the "so I'm not mad at you for (spilling my beans). I love you and I don't want to fight."
I just don't know what to feel anymore. I'm panicking because he's been super nice and lovey today and I know what he's doing. I don't even know where to begin but I'm so numb.