redpepper
Active member
You said at one point that you were the kind of person that looks forward to things. Perhaps making plans for when he comes back that you can look forward to? Plans with him, plans for him and the kids (obviously he should take part int that), plans to spend some much needed time doing your thing.
I think that while its important to let yourself feel what you do, as that is completely valid, its important to remember that he will be spending intense time with her until he leaves and then none at all. In fact, when she moves here she has a boyfriend here to think about and he a family that he needs to think about. This time they have now will be coming to an end shortly and there will be a lot of adjusting I would think for everyone. They are lucky in that they have time to have a sped up version of what a lot of us have to drag out in getting to know each other. Actually I see that as a mixed blessing as there is something to be said for getting to know each other slowly too.
When he gets home and this time is over there will be new things to concern oneself with in that he could become depressed and sad that his intense time with her is over and that he has a responsibility to his family and you.... you likely will be biting at the bit to get out and do stuff while he stays home... not only that but could be eager to spend time with him while he is still adjusting to being home again. He could need to keep his NRE at bay and literally forcing it out of his head. I remember coming home (still do sometimes) to my family after time with Mono... my NRE had to be dampened and I just wanted to run back to him. I would walk into the chaos of our home to find a burnt out daddy and a needy son and would just have to suck it up and deal. It was all an adjustment and all payed off by my doing that. Perspective and long term thoughts are what kept my head from blowing up. I would think he will be experiencing something similar.
This too shall pass I think and in no time at all there will be other things to consider. I know you make huge efforts to go out and see people, spend time with others and make plans for your immediate future. Keep at it and ride the wave, it won't last forever. You are already considering your needs and staying afloat... that will bide you well in the future...that speaking from my own experience with a young child and being stuck at home with him
hugs and kisses, I look forward to the plans we have made thus far btw... not all nights will be lonely ones.
I think that while its important to let yourself feel what you do, as that is completely valid, its important to remember that he will be spending intense time with her until he leaves and then none at all. In fact, when she moves here she has a boyfriend here to think about and he a family that he needs to think about. This time they have now will be coming to an end shortly and there will be a lot of adjusting I would think for everyone. They are lucky in that they have time to have a sped up version of what a lot of us have to drag out in getting to know each other. Actually I see that as a mixed blessing as there is something to be said for getting to know each other slowly too.
When he gets home and this time is over there will be new things to concern oneself with in that he could become depressed and sad that his intense time with her is over and that he has a responsibility to his family and you.... you likely will be biting at the bit to get out and do stuff while he stays home... not only that but could be eager to spend time with him while he is still adjusting to being home again. He could need to keep his NRE at bay and literally forcing it out of his head. I remember coming home (still do sometimes) to my family after time with Mono... my NRE had to be dampened and I just wanted to run back to him. I would walk into the chaos of our home to find a burnt out daddy and a needy son and would just have to suck it up and deal. It was all an adjustment and all payed off by my doing that. Perspective and long term thoughts are what kept my head from blowing up. I would think he will be experiencing something similar.
This too shall pass I think and in no time at all there will be other things to consider. I know you make huge efforts to go out and see people, spend time with others and make plans for your immediate future. Keep at it and ride the wave, it won't last forever. You are already considering your needs and staying afloat... that will bide you well in the future...that speaking from my own experience with a young child and being stuck at home with him
hugs and kisses, I look forward to the plans we have made thus far btw... not all nights will be lonely ones.