Poly-Dating: How to meet like-minded people

Oh, so you're interested in a polyfidelitous V. You get 2 women, and the women only get you. One penis policy. Your wife doesn't want a gf, she just wants a "sister wife?" You want a monogamous lover then, who would be happy sharing you with your wife, but would not want, or be allowed to have another lover of her own? Your wife doesn't want another sex partner, male or female.

Just trying to get this straight. You don't sound polyamorous, just polygynous.

Or in other words, "My poly is better than your poly"?
 
Love > sex

I think you're confusing polyamory with polysexual. I want another woman to join our family, and I want to love her. Sex and love are not the same thing. I am not bisexual. If I love another woman, I'm not going to rule out sexual activities, but we make sure to put forward that that is not something we are specifically looking for. We'd rather be completely upfront about our intentions than let someone enter our relationship with misconceptions.
 
Just being technical. There is no "better than you" about it from this end.

A V is one person with 2 lovers, where those 2 lovers do not have sex. The 2 lovers (who don't have sex with each other) are called metamours. Or in this case, perhaps sister wives.

A triad, technically, is 3 people in love and all having sex, either in 3ways or one on one. All 3 people are lovers or paramours or whatever you want to call them.

Please get your panties unbunched, people.
 
Just being technical. There is no "better than you" about it from this end.

A V is one person with 2 lovers, where those 2 lovers do not have sex. The 2 lovers (who don't have sex with each other) are called metamours. Or in this case, perhaps sister wives.

A triad, technically, is 3 people in love and all having sex, either in 3ways or one on one. All 3 people are lovers or paramours or whatever you want to call them.

Please get your panties unbunched, people.

This post above is a technical definition post. Your previous one, not so much.
 
I thought you were looking for a unicorn too by virtue of the fact that you post from one account and because of your intro post that starts with this

We have been talking about and passively looking for a second female for seven years, but only recently have we began to actively pursue the lifestyle and relationship style we have wanted.
and talks of poly fi along with that (I didn't read the whole thread though). No biggy, but it is confusing... I can understand where Mags got confused. I was.

Sorry for the derailment of topic.
 
Back to the OP, vanille, and her hubs Armani:

Just remember that it's not a race. The two of you do not need to both find additional partners to keep up with each other, be equal or fair, or anything like that. Generally women will have an easier time finding potential partners than men will. Consider this a blessing. Poly is new to you. Let's say vanille finds an OSO first. Instead of being anxious for Armani to find a woman, too, so you can both have one (sounds kids wanting toys, right?), let the change to your relationship sink in.

It will be a new dynamic of three, no longer two. There will likely be NRE to handle, as well as time management issues. See what you need to do to feel safe about vanille dating men from the internet. Take each small step slowly. Don't be in such a hurry. It could be several months before a woman open to poly messages Armani.
 
lovemaggy

let me understand, your bisexual and looking for a relationship with another female that will not be sexually available to your man, only you as her primarary and her as the secondary and he is ok with it. On the surface it sounds a little selfish to most people, almost being protective of what you have with your man.

To me I would say you are the dominant factor in knowing what you want, and going for it, and know what you dont want and thats ok.

You may want to try looking outside of polly, there are a lot of submissive bisexual females that are looking for a dominant mistress to cater to sexually,
not that you have to be overbaring or treat her like crap (amazingly many people think all submissives want this) its not true.
most bifemale submissives have a real need to sexually serv a bifemale mistress, to give up her control to only her primerary (you) happy to be the seconary knowing your man is off limits to her, unless she is directed only by you to give herself to him, this might be an interesting synario once you have trust and feel you have full control of her and not feel threatened. I think its worth looking at as an option, I personally think openminded bifemales are the best woman a openminded man can have, however its important that your man understands your bisexual needs, need be met in any way you see fit, after all its a huge part of who you are as a beautiful bisexual woman.
 
How did you meet your partner(s)?

Good morning Everyone,
I am new here and to Polyamory and have a million questions. Those of you who are in committed relationships, would you share with me how you met your partners? I am just curious how all this came together for you.
Thank you!
 
I met my Spouse in a bar, and I met my Other Partner through a computer-related group in the late 1980's (not a dating service).
 
I met my ex-husband in a bank.

My girlfriend and I were using the same forum, which is not poly or dating related. We noticed each others writings, met face to face as friends and it developed from there. We were both in open relationships when we met and that's how our poly life started, after dicussions with our other partners things got serious quite quickly.

My FWB was originally a friend of a friend.
 
I met my fiancee through a mutual friend at a Pride Festival in St Louis.
I met my female owner and boyfriend through the St Louis Rennisance Festival (remember that we were friends for 2 years and 3 years before any relationship started there).
My male owner I met through my female owner at a bar we frequent (since they are dating).
 
My husband and I met in a class in junior high when I was in 7th grade and he was in 8th grade. We didn't start dating until the end of my sophomore and his junior year in high school though.

My boyfriend and I met last year at a friend's Halloween party (though until he showed up he had no idea it was at a guy's house that he had just spent a year in Iraq with). A girl my boyfriend was casually dating invited him after he texted her that his plans had fallen through for the night, apparently telling him it was an orgy. Which is funny, because other than a vacuum bed being played around with in one of the basement rooms, it was a relatively tame party. He gave me his phone number and, since I had enjoyed kissing him the night before and decided to see if he was my type at all, I texted him the next day to try to find out more about him. We got together for coffee two days after the party and have been seeing each other a couple times a week ever since, except when one or the other of us is out of town.

The good majority of other people I've dated I've met at the local polyamory support group. They've caught my eye at meetings so I've usually been able to find them on OKCupid and ask them out. One person lived in South Carolina and I met him on polymatchmaker.com. Another person I met at parties hosted by friends from the poly community. I have met a couple people on OKCupid but both of those I only went on a couple dates with before it fizzled.
 
Since ex-husbands have been mentioned, I met mine on a political forum. The relationship wasn't polyamorous at first though.

I met my boyfriend (currently my only partner) on a chatroom for the gaming company where he worked. I knew I was polyamorous by then, he mentioned that he was, and we started talking a lot although I never expected it to move past a friendship.
 
I met my primary partner ten years ago at sixth form, he was clumsy qeek who swept me off my feet and he has been my rock ever since :)

I met A in july of a swinger's site and we have been dating ever since.
 
met my husband almost 20 years ago at the birthday party of a mutual friend.

met both my current loves on online poly dating sites.
 
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