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  #61  
Old 06-30-2010, 02:33 AM
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Thanks ragtag.MY wife "K" didnt develope feelings for her ex. They rekindled them after finding each other on facebook. They have already had one weekend together, I'm still dealing with insecurity issues from that, and now have another weekend planned. My life has been an utter rollercoaster. I think that Im just now, MAYBE, getting use to the idea. It still hurts. I have thought about tryin the local swingers scene, but I think its just a band aid at the moment.I need to take time and focus on myself, my health, both mental and physical, and try to have a backup plan just incase. I have been trying very hard to focus on the positives of my situation. I think it is helping. Heres something that happened to me earlier today. A very good female friend of mine, who I have flirted with thru out the years, and knows about our problems, says to me " wouldnt it be a trip if you and I ended up together after this?" WOW! My mind went in circles, squares, triangles and whatever other shapes popped in there. I said to her, you have know idea what thoughts of you have gone thru my mind. We laughed and continued our talk. It made me feel good to know that Im still attractive to the other sex. Lol! Oh well, needless to say it will be very interesting around here for sometime to come. To all that read this and if it applies to you, have a happy and enjoyable 4th.
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  #62  
Old 07-07-2010, 02:45 AM
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Well, made it back home after our family vacation just to turn around and let K and the kids drive away. Monday nite was terrible. Had an argument with K about her trip and her plans, and then woke up to my poor old dog having a seizure. Its been a long day to say the least. So I sit here wondering if I have done the right thing. I set my wife free and now I need to concentrate on myself. I need to make sure that my mind is in a good place, no matter what happens. I'm still having my insecurity issues, but they are getting better.
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  #63  
Old 07-09-2010, 01:43 AM
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I have enjoyed reading through this thread, lots of good replies andd useful information from those more experiened. OP, one thing that occured to me in one of your posts is, you said your wife tol you she has been unhappy for 3 years, an was thinking of leaving 2 years ago. This was prior to her rekindled feelings for the other guy? Seems like this goes back further an it would be helpful to know why she has been unhappy. I would writee more but my laptop kys are stiking an its vrey slow for me to type. I wish you th bst of luk an am sorry for th pain you'v been going through.
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  #64  
Old 07-09-2010, 04:13 AM
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Basically K has been unhappy since we moved to Arizona. I have been battling depression since we moved here. This is very hard country to make a living. The place that K works is right in the middle of a poverty stricken area. Her job is very stressful. I have been working on my depression and the lack of work or very low paying jobs. So it has been no picnic here. We have had many discussions about moving, but its so hard for K to give up her career. And the place she wants to move to is basically right next to H. I'm still not comfortable with this idea. Thats where K is this week. Visiting with friends and checking her options so to speak. I'm patiently waiting for her return. From K's actions, I'm pretty sure she wants to stay with me. We are in the process of getting a house here and I'm looking into a better job. I usually work in construction, but that has pretty much died, so I have been plying my skills do other work. K feels that she doesn't have any friends here, but thats not true, she just won't let anyone get close to her. Not sure where all this is going, but I'm in it till the end.
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  #65  
Old 07-17-2010, 12:43 AM
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Ok, update time. Not sure were to start. K came home to me. Everything seems to be going good. K seems happy with my new direction and is making plans to stay here with me. Theres only two small things that are bothering me, one K changed her Facebook profile from married to its complicated and two, she spent some time with H and didn't give me a courtesy call. We have always practiced the the courtesy call. Other than that everything seems to be going well. At the end of this month when we go and retrieve the little ones, I will finally get to meet H. So I think we are on the road to healing. Thank you to all of you that have posted, it all has helped me understand and deal with my emotions.
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  #66  
Old 07-17-2010, 04:22 PM
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Hmmm....Seems as though some posts may be missing here now. I KNOW that one of the ones I put on here is now gone...as well as a couple others. Interesting. I really detest sites where mods or admins feel the need to censor things. Hope thats not what happened here.
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  #67  
Old 07-17-2010, 04:33 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
Hmmm....Seems as though some posts may be missing here now. I KNOW that one of the ones I put on here is now gone...as well as a couple others. Interesting. I really detest sites where mods or admins feel the need to censor things. Hope thats not what happened here.
Was it split out into its own thread? I know the mods here do not like to remove posts ever, as they could help people in the future
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  #68  
Old 07-17-2010, 06:05 PM
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I don't know what happened exactly. The posts I'm refering to were very specific to this thread though.....but meah. Just an oddity. I thought I broke the internet again.
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  #69  
Old 07-18-2010, 03:33 AM
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I really don't know what happened to your posts TL4. I definitely don't want that kind of control over what goes on here. I have no interest in silencing anyone or censor anyone. It goes against my values big time!

another note: we have 7 pages here. Anyone feel like tagging? I would hate for this thread to get missed in a search later on.. thanks, I just don't have the time right now
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  #70  
Old 07-19-2010, 10:38 PM
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The more I think about my current situation, the more I see wrong with it. I have been trying very hard to understand her relationship with H. But it seems to me that I'm the on only one who is sacrificing anything. H, as far as I know, hasn't had to do anything. K hasn't had to change anything, she hasn't stopped talking or making plans with H. I feel like I'm the only one who is compromising everything.
K and I talked a little about her visit with H. It didn't sound to me like it went very well for her. K said they only spent a couple of hours together. I asked her if they had intercourse, she said that they didn't. K's reason was because she was afraid that I would freak out and have another meltdown. Seems like a pretty flimsy reason to me.
I still don't understand why, if I mean so much to her, she continues to stay in contact with H. I also haven't made the request for her to stop talking with him. Funny!? I think for me, if I ask or tell her to stop, she would do it anyways.
Is the connection for your first love, who you have had no contact with for almost 20 years, that strong? My connection to my first love is so strong that I am willing to make myself miserable just to keep her in my life. HHMMMM..... I will have to think about this some more.
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