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Old 09-02-2018, 02:09 PM
BirdbutnotaPenguin's Avatar
BirdbutnotaPenguin BirdbutnotaPenguin is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: California
Posts: 17
Default Why cant I fall for anyone who lives near me

Recently I moved to Thailand, and due to various things, I am no longer with Sir or Lion- who were both LDR back in the states. I started seeing a coworker, but things got complicated, so we slowed it down and are focusing on friendship and work.

And then Beast just strolled into my life knocking me on my ass. Its like all of the qualities I loved from both Lion and Sir were thrown into this man. Like I wrote down everything I need and everything I want, communication wise and Kink wise was written on a piece of paper and hes just reading off of it. Doing all the damn things.

He shares everything with me. We both have casual partners we will see, and there are no secrets about it. He can sleep with a new girl every night and in the morning he tells me how much he wants me and appreciates me. This level of openness is so ideal for me- compersion comes so easy with him. There is not a lick of jealousy.
My Beast, he makes me feel like adored and cared for and so fucking loved.
But old patterns hold true, and he is back in the States where he lives. We have plans for me to come visit in a few months, and every day I find myself just sinking more into him. The NRE is reciprocated, and the depth of passion is a two way street.
I always get nervous when I date someone new, because I dont know how they handle dating multiple people at once- where I am really good at compartmentalizing, I dont know their skill with it. But he seems just as good at it as me. I want to cry sometimes because of how wonderful things are with him, how well he understands me, and how well he emphasizes how I make him feel.

Why OH WHY does he have to live so far away.
__________________
Me (Bird): 24, F, Heteroflexible, Open-poly, Submissive
Beast: 33, M, Heterosexual, Open-Poly, Current Partner, Dom, LDR
Teach: 32, M, Heterosexual, Monogamish, (Its Complicated) New partner
Lion: 26, M, Ex- partner, Heteroflexible, Open-Parellel Poly, LDR
Sir: 32, M, Ex- Partner/Dom, Heterosexual, LDR
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