Finding someone

berserker239

New member
So im with a girl, we both want to have a third to our relationship. Shes bisexual and im not, so it has to be a woman. The hard part is finding a bisexual woman who will. Its hard enough finding a bi girl, let alone a bi girl into poly. Any tips? Anyone from the greater pottsville pennsylvania area that knows of some girls into that? Its kinda hard to walk up to a girl and say "Hey are you bi? Oh and by the way, wanna date me and my girlfriend?"

Just doesnt seem like its a good conversation starter. Idk, im confused on how all this works, its not the worlds norm and isnt widely accepted. Any suggestions on how you started yours?
 
You're looking for a unicorn my friend. There's a whole thread on that. Good luck in your search, there's a lot of you looking. :)
 
If you find one make sure she's not a horse with a goat horn glued to her head. Then ask if she has friends and send them over. :p
 
Ah, im looking for a woman that doesnt exist? Well honestly, my girlfriend has a friend, that said she would do it, be with us both at the same time that is, but shes with a man whom shes been with for 7 years and loves deeply. So i dont think its a unicorn per se, but a 4 leaf clover
 
A lot will depend on what you are looking for in the long run. Do you want a commited relationship between you, your girl and this third woman? Are you just looking for someone to take up space in the bedroom? These are things to figure out before you go looking for your third.
 
Another thing is, you can't really control who you fall in love with. So if it's truely a poly relationship you want, and not one for just sex, it's difficult to find someone who falls in love with both of you.

As Alli says, it CAN happen... we DO exist. I happened to find my loves by chance. None of us were looking and it just happened. We didn't even know about the poly lifestyle until we had already decided we were going to live it.

Good luck.
 
I agree with the previous posters... it's hard to specifically go out and find someone who will love both you and your partner. Also that perhaps you need to define more what it is you are actually looking for long term. If it's more of a sexual thing, perhaps swinging is a more direct line to what you seek.
 
We arent looking for another knotch in the bedpost. We're looking for a committed third to our two, i wouldent use a woman as a plaything.

We want someone to share good and bad times with, to be there when things get bad and when things are good, weve never been into the norm so this comes as no surprise to us.

My girlfriend is bisexual but has never had a girlfriend, shes done things with a woman but never got into a relationship with one because her step-father is homophobic. I couldent tell you why we want to do this. Its just like when you fall in love, you dont know what it is about that person that makes you want them so bad, you have ideas, but you never really know.
 
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Shes bisexual but has never had a girlfriend, shes done things with a woman but never got into a relationship with one because her step-father is homophobic.

I'm assuming you mean your girlfriend here as this would be a very unusual requirement for a third person.
 
Haha, yeah i meant her. Kinda groggy right now, just woke up and didnt have a cigarette yet.
 
You are in an unusual position because of your age AND newness at the alternative lifestyle. I think this will work to your advantage. First of all, you are not married, especially not for many years of monogamy and/or raising a family. So it's not so much a turn-off that you want to "add" to "your" relationship the way it is with older, established couples where it will be a big change in "their" marriage. There are not the same things at stake with you and your GF. All you really need to concern yourself with is being respectful toward each other and your soon-to-be girlfriend.

I have one piece of advice. Get in the habit, mentally and verbally, of referring to your girlfriend(s) as "she and I" or "her and me" instead of "us and we". save the "us and we" for the three of you.

I'm glad you seem to have the foresight and maturity to make this work; it may take a little longer than you would like, but I have no doubt that you will appreciate it.
 
Thank you very much for the support, suggestions and kind words. I think my girlfriend and myself are going to enjoy it here. :) Ill talk to her about getting her to make herself an account here and become active. Be warned, shes 10x the bouncy and hyper aussielover is xD
 
LMAO... omg if only you knew me in person, I'm so quiet and shy!! My Sunshinegrl is way more bouncy and hyper than I am! At least irl. lol That's so funny.
 
Aww, your probably just shy to people you dont know. I bet once you get near your lovers you divetackle one of them to the ground and latch on with a deathgrip xD
 
Aww, your probably just shy to people you dont know. I bet once you get near your lovers you divetackle one of them to the ground and latch on with a deathgrip xD

hmmmmmmm ok maybe you DO know me... *looking around a little paranoid*
 
xD No no its ok, im not a stalker, im just really good at learning how people are. :D
 
lol whew... I'm just extra excited right now 'cause I've just got things orginized to go homem finally... I've been missing my family so much and now I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

lol but usually I'm not nearly this hyper
 
Thats great, are you just visiting or are you staying for good?
 
For min a year. I'm going over on a working holiday visa. That will give us some time to figure out what to do after that. Maybe back to school on a student visa... We have to figure something out perminantly.
 
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