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Old 01-31-2020, 11:19 PM
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Default Network sitcom introduces a "throuple"

Single Parents on ABC (now in its 3rd season) had a couple characters, a male and a female, in a relationship, and it's just been revealed they share a lover. Of course a MF couple is sharing someone! At least, this time it's a male.

https://www.salon.com/2020/01/29/pol...my-jj-philbin/

But good lord. Once again, it's assumed that polyamory (or polyam, as this article insists on calling it) is all about threeways and group sex.

There is an invented poly dating app where the characters met, called Big Bed. The article reveals other ideas the show's writers had for names for this app. Oh lord.

Everybody Get in Here!
Stackr
Group Hug
Thrindr
Repeat the Threepeat
Tryangle
The More the Merrier
All Welcome
California King

Excuse me while I go puke. Those terms describe a swinger's orgy, NOT POLYAMORY!

In the group of writers for the show, supposedly one of the women is poly. She was their only source for poly issues. Yay.

Discuss.
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Old 01-31-2020, 11:32 PM
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It's probably going to be a long time before polyamory is represented properly on (movies and) TV. Possibly longer than I'll be alive. I expect most of it to be "unicorn poly," it is actually lucky that in this case it's M/F + M instead of the usual M/F + F. Most people, when they think of poly, think of swinging and orgies, that is the most popular perception of poly and hence what I expect to see on TV, when poly is represented at all. I only hope (and expect) that realistic poly will eventually become popular.

There is a web series called Unicornland, it's all about M/F + F arrangements which is disappointing, but other than that I think it's well done and an enjoyable series, if one must get more of the unicorn trope, this is the series I recommend.
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Old 02-01-2020, 07:21 PM
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It's very rare that I watch something on network television so I haven't seen it. I think it is cool that at least they didn't make it the usual mff throuple. It's still the mononormative 2+1 though. I would love to see a series based on a more complicated polycule, but I think someone would actually have to be poly to write it.

On the positive side, at least it's something. Yes it's frustrating, but it takes a long time to make something mainstream. Remember when there were no gay characters on TV? Then they would have a quick bit part that was usually a very swishy gay guy mostly poking fun at it. Now it's not even a big deal to have gay characters or even a show based around it. What I just described took 40 years to accomplish.
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Old 02-03-2020, 04:01 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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I watch the show. Saw the episode. Thought it was handled okay-ish.

Two of the main characters sees their friend's gf with another man. They go to his house later to tell him and find that the gf and the guy are there. They all then sit down as the three polyamorous folks explain their relationships and that they all spend time together as a "throuple" and in individual dyads. Yeah, the app name is iffy but overall it showed two guys who are comfortable with fluid sexuality, a woman who has and respects boundaries, and a group with good communication and no shame.

Perfect? Far from it, but much better than the typical mf couple needing a female third to complete them.
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Old 02-03-2020, 05:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysGrowing View Post
I watch the show. Saw the episode. Thought it was handled okay-ish.

Two of the main characters sees their friend's gf with another man. They go to his house later to tell him and find that the gf and the guy are there. They all then sit down as the three polyamorous folks explain their relationships and that they all spend time together as a "throuple" and in individual dyads. Yeah, the app name is iffy but overall it showed two guys who are comfortable with fluid sexuality, a woman who has and respects boundaries, and a group with good communication and no shame.

Perfect? Far from it, but much better than the typical mf couple needing a female third to complete them.
Why is needing a a male to "complete" a MF couple "better"? Oh yeah, the greater stigma against male/male sex stuff stuff, I guess.

It still has nothing to do with how poly is actually practiced. It's more like the porn these days, where 2 guys can get it on, but only if there is a female sexy assistant there, as a bridge. Then it's not really "gay," because having a woman there makes it OK.

I guess they didn't actually show the 2 men out on a romantic date, or in bed in a network friendly sexual situation, without the woman present?
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Old 02-03-2020, 06:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Why is needing a a male to "complete" a MF couple "better"? Oh yeah, the greater stigma against male/male sex stuff stuff, I guess.

It still has nothing to do with how poly is actually practiced. It's more like the porn these days, where 2 guys can get it on, but only if there is a female sexy assistant there, as a bridge. Then it's not really "gay," because having a woman there makes it OK.

I guess they didn't actually show the 2 men out on a romantic date, or in bed in a network friendly sexual situation, without the woman present?
It was a 2 minute thing on the show, so no. They did not show them without their shared female partner present. But it was not set up like they needed him to complete them either. And I didn't get the impression that they needed her to feel "not gay." Have you watched it?
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Old 02-03-2020, 07:34 AM
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Well they couldn't possibly just be bi...lol

Speaking as a man who has had a few mmf threesomes, it doesn't feel any "less gay" (whatever that means).
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Old 02-03-2020, 01:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysGrowing View Post
It was a 2 minute thing on the show, so no. They did not show them without their shared female partner present. But it was not set up like they needed him to complete them either. And I didn't get the impression that they needed her to feel "not gay." Have you watched it?
No. I read the article I linked above. It maddened me with its emphasis on group sex as seemingly the point of polyamory, especially the terms they used for the so called poly dating site that was all about threeway sex. Thanks for your input.

I guess it's real progressive to have a MFM or MMF "throuple" in the show, and I should be grateful for the crumbs. But it's still so wrong. It's like they're just adding in poly to "spice things up." I was recently asked to join a 25 year old MF couple to help them "spice up" their marriage (once again), so it just gets my goat.
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Old 02-03-2020, 01:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vinsanity0 View Post
Well they couldn't possibly just be bi...lol

Speaking as a man who has had a few mmf threesomes, it doesn't feel any "less gay" (whatever that means).
Are you bi? Where the men doing sex stuff to each other?
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  #10  
Old 02-03-2020, 06:35 PM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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They didn't show them in sexual situations. They showed the woman and man on a date in public then all of them were fully clothed in the home. The main character (male) sat in the middle, having physical contact with both his partners.

I personally didn't find it very sexual at all besides the app name. But it's a sitcom. Even the heteronormative apps on sitcoms have borderline offensive names so I count it as a win that it was portrayed as a valid choice that was met with (shock but) acceptance.
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