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  #11  
Old 02-03-2020, 08:36 PM
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Originally Posted by AlwaysGrowing View Post
They didn't show them in sexual situations. They showed the woman and man on a date in public then all of them were fully clothed in the home. The main character (male) sat in the middle, having physical contact with both his partners.

I personally didn't find it very sexual at all besides the app name. But it's a sitcom. Even the heteronormative apps on sitcoms have borderline offensive names, so I count it as a win that it was portrayed as a valid choice that was met with (shock but) acceptance.
Thanks!
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  #12  
Old 02-04-2020, 06:23 PM
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Are you bi? Where the men doing sex stuff to each other?
I'm... complicated...lol. I think I fall under heteroflexible more than bi. To me, bi suggests a sort of equality, same with pan. I prefer women, but will have sex with guys on occasion. My ratio of women to men is around 50:10 so around 5:1 or thereabouts.

I've only had one ongoing threesome that was mmf. He was gay, not bi. The girl was my live-in gf at the time. She was the one I've mentioned before that was super jealous when we had a mff thing going with a friend. I chuckled at what you said because it actually felt super gay as it was the first time I had sex with a guy in front of a woman. It was all good though. Funny thing was she had absolutely no jealousy when it was with another guy, but was very jealous with the other girl even though she initiated that.
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  #13  
Old 02-04-2020, 06:25 PM
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Oh, meant to add that you would probably be surprised how into group sex younger poly people are. It was huge in that big Seattle group I belonged to. It was so bad that people started complaining.
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  #14  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:04 PM
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Oh, meant to add that you would probably be surprised how into group sex younger poly people are. It was huge in that big Seattle group I belonged to. It was so bad that people started complaining.
Oh stop. I'm not naive. And I was young once myself. I am sure it is. Young people are horny and do not think ahead to consequences.

It's more the assumption that poly=group sex that bothers me. Vs are never portrayed!
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  #15  
Old 02-06-2020, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by vinsanity0 View Post
I'm... complicated... lol. I think I fall under heteroflexible more than bi. To me, bi suggests a sort of equality, same with pan. I prefer women, but will have sex with guys on occasion. My ratio of women to men is around 50:10 so around 5:1 or thereabouts.
I don't think bisexual implies equal desire for both sexes at all, for sex or for love. I'm bi (pan, actually but that's a newer convenient term). My desire for sex and/or love for or with one gender or another varies quite a bit.

It's a continuum for almost everyone. There are few people that are entirely gay or straight. Most people are in the middle somewhere. I once went to a queer conference, with straights, gays and transgender folks. In one workshop we were asked to pick our spot on a line where our desire for this or that gender laid. For femme IDed people was on one end. For masc IDed people was on the other end. We ranged across the room rather evenly.

[/quote]
I've only had one ongoing threesome that was mmf. He was gay, not bi. The girl was my live-in gf at the time. (She was the one I've mentioned before that was super jealous when we had a mff thing going with a friend.) I chuckled at what you said, because it actually felt super gay, as it was the first time I had sex with a guy in front of a woman. It was all good though. [/quote]

It is surprising a gay guy would want to have sex with a woman involved, but you never know... maybe he was a wee bit bi.

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Funny thing was she had absolutely no jealousy when it was with another guy, but was very jealous with the other girl, even though she initiated that.
I never knew you'd been with guys! I don't remember you ever mentioning it before. Interesting!
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  #16  
Old 02-06-2020, 11:28 PM
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I don't feel like messing with the quote function right now so I'll just wing it lol

I didn't make my point clear. It wasn't weird that young people like group sex. It was weird that so many young poly people felt group sex was a requirement for poly, as in if you weren't into group sex then you weren't poly enough. It's debatable which came first, the chicken or the egg. Is it portrayed as group sex because so many poly people see it that way, or do so many see it that way because that's how the prevailing (mono) society has imagined it?

I agree with you that sexuality is a spectrum. I'm not biromantic though, and that has a lot to do with how I self-identity.

As for the mmf thing, I'm pretty sure he just tolerated her being there for my sake. The first time it happened we were all hanging out at his place.

I've mentioned this all before here and there, but my sexuality isn't what defines me. It's all just sex lol.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:18 AM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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The description of the episode doesn't sound terrible to me...I mean sure, it's silly to equate polyamory with threesomes/orgies...

But my partner would absolutely make a profile on an app called Big Bed or Everybody Get in Here! in a heartbeat. LOL.

Grindr is a pretty silly name...if it weren't real and someone made it up for a show, I would think it was ridiculous and borderline offensive!
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  #18  
Old 02-07-2020, 02:33 PM
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Originally Posted by vinsanity0 View Post
I didn't make my point clear. It wasn't weird that young people like group sex. It was weird that so many young poly people felt group sex was a requirement for poly, as in if you weren't into group sex then you weren't poly enough.
And you said some people complained about this idea. So that's good. Some people believed that group sex was not a definition or requirement of polyamory.
Quote:
It's debatable which came first, the chicken or the egg. Is it portrayed as group sex because so many poly people see it that way, or do so many see it that way because that's how the prevailing (mono) society has imagined it?
That's a good question. I think everyone is equating rather casual sex with the "love" word in polyamory. It's just becoming defined as polysexuality!



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Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
The description of the episode doesn't sound terrible to me. I mean sure, it's silly to equate polyamory with threesomes/orgies.
It is "silly," although I would use a stronger word. I remember being confused and put off by that equation in the Ethical Slut though, come to think of it, 20 years ago. I remember an all female sex orgy being described. And I thought, that's not what I want, free for all group sex parties, watching each other fuck and cheering each other on. I just want to be able to have more than one lover at a time, to be with one-on-one!

Quote:
But my partner would absolutely make a profile on an app called Big Bed or Everybody Get in Here! in a heartbeat.
So, your partner likes group sex. But do they think that is polyamory, or is it more like swinging?
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  #19  
Old 02-08-2020, 05:28 PM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post

So, your partner likes group sex. But do they think that is polyamory, or is it more like swinging?
For him, yeah, it's part of how he does polyamory. He's never been interested in swinging.

For me, no, because I don't like group sex.
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  #20  
Old 02-08-2020, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
For him, yeah, it's part of how he does polyamory. He's never been interested in swinging.
Well, what's the difference? Is he looking for group sex, or people to love? Is the difference that he is open to love with his many many casual sex partners?

For me, group sex will never equal polyamory just in some sort of magical leap. Variety in sex partners, and enjoying voyeurism, or whatnot, does not equal love.
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