Is "Distance" Really Important for Online Dating?~

ColorsWolf

New member
Often I will find some one I really feel like I would get along with very well, find out they just happen to be in an exotic country (like Finland or New York), get very excited, and contact them only to have them either completely ignore my well-thought-out lengthy message or reply upset that I'm outside their "preferred area" when it was clearly stated so on their profile.~

For me, that is just a "would be nice" kind of thing preference, but really I am open to meeting some one from any where.~

After all would you really want to cut-off the possibility to meet your lover simply because like a remote 5 feet from your sitting butt "they're too far"?~

If any thing I would ideally want to get to know some one online for awhile before I want to "meet up in-person".~

I mean seriously: the whole point of dating "online" is to get to know some one BEFORE I actually "go out with them" so that I can hopefully catch most signs that we wouldn't like each other.~

Otherwise I'd go out and randomly point to some one and ask them to date me, sink or swim: I still do this and have rarely had great results, the one great result I can remember is when I was too scared to even ask if she was exclusive if she had a lover already as when I feel some thing for some one I get really nervous and very shy.~ Ironic since I'm usually very extroverted and outgoing with most people.~

What do you think about this topic?~
 
Distance doesn't matter to me at all. I like getting to know people online, and I don't even mind being in a permanent LDR. But then, I'm an asexual relationship anarchist who values the abstract mental connection over anything else, and I realize that not everyone is like me. Some people really need frequent face-to-face time to connect with a partner, or they have a strong need for physical/sexual intimacy, or they can't/don't want to relocate or travel too often, etc. I think it's more likely about not wanting a long-term LDR than not wanting to get to know each other online.
 
But... how can they hold your hand when you poop if they live across the world?
 
I dont mind talking online. But I don't do long-distance relationships. So if someone isn't close, I won't date them at all, so why get their hopes up?
 
But... how can they hold your hand when you poop if they live across the world?

. . . Coffee snorted through my nose .

I almost did the same thing when I read it last night (to be clear, I mean I almost snorted a beverage, NOT hold hands with someone while pooping).

I guess in an LDR, they could sit on the toilet with their laptops and Skype while pooping, since I do believe Skype is available even in exotic countries like New York.
 
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It is disrespectful to contact people who have specified their preferences and you do not meet those preferences.

Then you have the nerve to be affronted when they do not reply to you?
 
I also can't do long distance relationships. My two primary love languages are quality time and physical touch. Not so much things you can do when you're rarely in the same physical space. And I have very little desire to sit in front of a computer or phone on Skype/some other video chat for hours on end just to have a "date night." I like date nights to happen weekly, if I can't see you weekly - I don't want to date you.
 
I also can't do long distance relationships. My two primary love languages are quality time and physical touch. Not so much things you can do when you're rarely in the same physical space. And I have very little desire to sit in front of a computer or phone on Skype/some other video chat for hours on end just to have a "date night." I like date nights to happen weekly, if I can't see you weekly - I don't want to date you.

Same here. Sam is actually considering renting the house 2 doors down. He is only 5 minutes away now but being able to go back and forth bring him meals whenever I want will be awesome
 
Well I speak only for myself when I say this: I ideally would probably get to know some one online for at least a few months or even a year before I even think about "meeting up".~

My thinking is that if we really might have a future together then simply talking to each other would make our days better and when we do get to finally "meet" it will be even better.~

I'm not the kind of person who "needs" some one right now, it would be nice though, I am comfortable not being in a romantic relationship.~ If I do meet some one in person and we eventually fall in love, I would ideally like to be with them always from then on, but I'm not the kind of person who has a "hole" and "needs to be in a romantic relationship to be complete".~

I enjoy intimate interaction with any one like hugs, kisses, cuddling, etc. but I want to have a loving connection with some one instead of "needing" one.~ It would be extremely nice I imagine to experience such a thing, but I don't have any regrets if I were to die and it never happened.~

There are ways of "exploring" and learning about some one's "self" that go far beyond "physical ways" such as "talking" in a intimate way that highly opens up emotions, ways of thought, etc.~ These are just as extremely important to me as "being physical" with some one is.~

I meant that "New York" as an exotic country as in I've never been there and it's extremely far from me especially considering my feet are my main source of transportation.~ :)
 
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I don't like to waste time online/texting because too often I've met someone and had zero chemistry or attraction.

There are no "guarantees" in life, life "owes" you nothing, you have just as much chance of dying if you consider yourself to be "a wonderful person" than if you consider yourself to be "a horrible person".~

Some thing you have put much time and effort into could not turn out how you expected it to, it could happen.~

Any thing is possible at any time, I'm not saying your "reasoning" leading your decision isn't justified, but I personally do not let possibility stop me from living.~
 
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Distance doesn't matter to me at all. I like getting to know people online, and I don't even mind being in a permanent LDR. But then, I'm an asexual relationship anarchist who values the abstract mental connection over anything else, and I realize that not everyone is like me. Some people really need frequent face-to-face time to connect with a partner, or they have a strong need for physical/sexual intimacy, or they can't/don't want to relocate or travel too often, etc. I think it's more likely about not wanting a long-term LDR than not wanting to get to know each other online.

I'm glad to hear to your perspective as much as every one else's perspectives.~

This kind of discussion is exactly what I wanted to open up with this thread.~ ^_^
 
ColorsWolf32 said:
There are no "guarantees" in life, life "owes" you nothing, you have just as much chance of dying if you consider yourself to be "a wonderful person" than if you consider yourself to be "a horrible person".~

Some thing you have put much time and effort into could not turn out how you expected it to, it could happen.~

Any thing is possible at any time, I'm not saying your "reasoning" leading your decision isn't justified, but I personally do not let possibility stop me from living.~

Yep, I could die next week, my time is just too precious to waste if it could be avoided.
 
Yep, I could die next week, my time is just too precious to waste if it could be avoided.

Every thing could "be a waste" and every thing could "be worth doing", it's all a matter of your perspective of how you see it.~

I respect your perspective, but for myself I see every thing as precious to me no moment "is wasted" and every thing matters to me.~ :)
 
New York is exotic, if you live somewhere like Egypt or Malaysia. It's all relative. Even for me, I'm Canadian so it's not that distant or foreign, however it's a completely different culture and mindset than the tiny city I live in. It's very multicultural, too, so even if the city itself isn't exotic, it has a pretty exotic population.

It's just not exotic if you live there, just like Thailand isn't exotic if you're Thai.
 
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