Do we need a new word?

sage

New member
If Compersion is the opposite of jealousy what can we call the feeling we get when our loved one is hurting over another relationship and we feel that too?

All I could come up with is discompersion because of the discomfort it brings up, but it isn't right.

Suggestions please.:confused:
 
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no, no, no, I can say I'm feeling compersion but I can't say I'm feeling uncompersion or any of the others. I suppose I could say uncompersionable, but that sounds awkward. Maybe we need a whole new word?
 
Why doesn't empathy work? Is it more than that because we can experience joy when society tells us to feel jealous? We needed a word for the opposite of jealousy because of how pervasive (and strong) feelings of jealousy typically invoke.

I'm not sure that people generally feel joy when someone they want to be in a relationship with is having a hard time with their current relationship (even if we see opportunity - that's still different from joy). If we truly cared for that person, we would still probably struggle with seeing that person suffer.

So, I'm not sure what you're describing serves the same kind of role that comperson does with respect to jealousy.

I could be wrong.
 
Empathy is general, but works. Compersion is a specific kind of empathy (over positive things), and it's sad that we need such a word (because it means it's more "normal" to be upset when other people are happy), but I'm not convinced we need a specific word for when it's negative.

Actually, I would even think "compersion" itself might work, if we use it in terms of "empathy for your partner's joy or sadness over another lover".
 
I think there are already plenty of existing words to describe feeling bad and supportive for a partners struggle. The creation of new words for each little thing might be fun but it serves to further isolate ourselves from the rest of society because we end up talking a different language.
 
I think there are already plenty of existing words to describe feeling bad and supportive for a partners struggle. The creation of new words for each little thing might be fun but it serves to further isolate ourselves from the rest of society because we end up talking a different language.

KAHPLAH!:rolleyes:
 
Thanks guys. The feeling was more than empathy which I tend to think of as understanding another's pain, or sympathy (feeling bad about someone else's pain) I was actually feeling it. The other times I've felt the same were when my children were having problems. You know, "You can only feel as happy as your least happy child"

I guess I've come a long way. One of the first posts I read on this forum was a woman writing about holding and comforting her SO who was heartbroken over an OSO. I couldn't understand it at all. I thought I'd feel glad.
 
Thanks guys. The feeling was more than empathy which I tend to think of as understanding another's pain, or sympathy (feeling bad about someone else's pain) I was actually feeling it. The other times I've felt the same were when my children were having problems. You know, "You can only feel as happy as your least happy child"

I guess I've come a long way. One of the first posts I read on this forum was a woman writing about holding and comforting her SO who was heartbroken over an OSO. I couldn't understand it at all. I thought I'd feel glad.

Your description sounds stronger but not different in kind from the definition of symnpathy - which includes more than feeling bad about someone else's pain...

NOUN
1. capacity to share feelings: the ability to enter into, understand, or share somebody else's feelings
2. feelings caused by sympathy: the feelings of somebody who enters into or shares another's feelings
3. sorrow for another's pain: the feeling or expression of pity or sorrow for the pain or distress of somebody else
"We extended our sympathies to the widow."
4. inclination to feel alike: the inclination to think or feel the same as somebody else

We have the additional notion of Sympathy Pains to describe when it goes beyond emotions, literally feeling someone elses physical pain.

This suggests to me that there's no need for a new word or an additional modifyer for Sympathy as it covers the emotional sharing of pain.

Maybe I'm not understanding the qualitative difference you mean.
 
http://wellbeingandhealth.net/psych...-a-difference-between-empathy-and-compassion/ this link expresses the difference and similarities between empathy and compassion.

"empathy emphasises feeling and emotion while with compassion the emphasis is more on action. I think we could say that empathy can embrace listening but not going on a street march. Compassion I think is readily compatible with street marches and other forms of organisation too.
It seems to me that empathy is a kind of receptivity while compassion adds an element of doing. We may have empathy for someone’s situation without doing anything about it. I don’t think we could say we are compassionate and do nothing. I think compassion may be the slightly larger concept.
The overlaps that I see are to do with our feelings and motivation. Both empathy and compassion are an openness to the other person, their feelings and situation. With both empathy and compassion we are “moved” – we respond to the other person’s feelings and situation. I think empathy is more the response to the person’s feelings and emotions while compassion is more the response to their situation."

I think in terms for what you are talking about the action would be, for example, taking care of things that he can not right now, forgiving his attitude and hurtful snappy words because you know he is hurt, remaining cheery and planning fun stuff to do so he won't get too down... possibly trying to solve the situation by contacting the person that is causing the hurt and trying to get them to change their mind....

Not to say that this is what is going on for you, but as an example of compassion that perhaps fits similarly to what you are saying and what your situation is. This is a close example to the compassion I have had in the past when PN has been hurting because a struggle he has had with love.
 
It seems to me compersion sounds similar enough to compassion that the word might have been inspired by it. Then I would say compassion and compersion are two sides of empathy, compassion being for negative things and compersion for positive one. The opposite of compassion would be schadenfreude, the opposite of compersion jealousy.
 
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It seems to me compersion sounds similar enough to compassion that the word might have been inspired by it. Then I would say compassion and compersion are too sides of empathy, compassion being for negative things and compersion for positive one. The opposite of compassion would be schadenfreude, the opposite of compersion jealousy.

Excellent analysis. Sounds right to me.
 
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